Food Likes of the Common Household Son

In celebration of my son’s 18^th birthday earlier this summer, I put together this tableau detailing his culinary tastes over the years.  They can be summarized this way:  Don’t try to feed my son a vegetable. 

Here are the details.

Age 4

“I’m just a peanut butter and jelly man.”

* * * * * *

 “Mm, mm!  There’s nothing like cheese doodle inside a tortilla with peanut butter and jelly on it, rolled up like a cigar!”

* * * * * *

“I was BORN to love cheese!”

Age 6

The commutative property

Me: Son, what will you have for breakfast?

Son:  I’ll have toast with peanut butter and cream cheese.

Me:  I can’t bring myself to make peanut butter and cream cheese toast.

Son:  Okay.  How about cream cheese with peanut butter?!

Age 8

The second grade teacher asked each student to fill out a form: name, age, best friend, favorite color, hobbies, etc.  And this was one of my son’s responses:

In my spare time I like to eat dairy products.

* * * * * *

Son decided to name  “a new species:  Homo Macaroniusandcheesus.”

Age 13

Common Household Husband:  Son, how many hamburgers will you be eating?

Son:  How many hamburgers are there?

Age 14

Common Household Husband: Son, are you hungry?

Son:  A little bit.  I will be hungry at some time in the future, so I might as well eat now.

Age 15

I came in the kitchen to cook dinner, and found Son with 4 slices of bread spread out on the cutting board.  The peanut butter, jelly, and a slice of American cheese were nearby.  I said, “What are you doing?”  He said, “I’m making my lunch for tomorrow.”   I said, “Are you making a quadruple decker sandwich?!”  “No,” he said, “I’m making a double single decker.”  In other words, two sandwiches. 

Age 16

Son:  What’s for dinner?

My Husband:  Meat.

Son:  Oooh!  My favorite!

* * * * * *

One afternoon after Son got home from his horn lesson he said, “Since I have an audition later this evening, I’m going to do what Mrs. F suggested, and have a peanut butter and banana sandwich.”

* * * * * *

Son said, “My capacity for eating latkes is pretty much limitless.”

And so it has continued to this day.  To his credit, he has been known to make a salad for others, athough he won't eat it himself.  He valiantly supports the peanut butter production industry. He will eat tofu.  But not quimby. 

What was your favorite food when you were growing up?