Showing posts with label guest post. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guest post. Show all posts

Thursday, September 17, 2020

Stopping in Loneliness on a Pandemic Evening


 

Whose love this is I think I know.
Their feelings are quite distant, though;
Though depth and distance don't relate
When joy and laughter hold their glow.

With distance, strength and sorrow find
A waxing, waning. Love can bind
Across a screen, a show, a call,
But cannot tell your truth of mind.

Inadequate, how words can be
Unable to write poetry,
How gestures, touches, simple modes,
Tell more than frail writers like me.

My love is lonely, dark and deep.
But buried still, I can but weep,
With miles to go to reach your keep,
With miles to go to reach your keep.


A poem for the covid-19 era

by Younger Daughter


A few Fridays ago, Younger Daughter was having a difficult day, one of those days where the pressures of the world seemed too much.  On days like that, add pandemic restrictions, and loneliness sets in.  For some reason, we couldn’t talk at that moment, so I emailed her this:  “Do you know how much we love you?  We love you to the moon and back!”

In less than an hour, she replied with the above poem.  I think it captures the difficulty we are all in right now, at how to express our care and fondness for our loved ones over video chat.  Love can bind us together across a screen, and I am grateful that at least we have that technology.  

This happened a few days after a family Poetry Slam - a gathering (my siblings,  and their young adult children and ours) over zoom where we each read a poem (no longer than 2 minutes reading time!).  There was not anything slam-like about it, but we had a great time. I recommend this activity.  So poetry was on our minds.

Note:  As you may have guessed, the poet is in debt to “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” by Robert Frost.





Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Jubilate with Cake



Going Gray by Elise Neill
On display at our township's
first ever Recyclable Art Show

In the third week of the eighth month, there shall be a celebration. And though it is not a celebration you particularly want, as you need no reminders that you are getting older, thus shall the Lord command:

Thou shalt eat of cake, provided by the Common Household Husband, and there shall be some cake saved for him, even as he is only meant to eat of jello in his current state. Thou shalt not bring him any bagels.

Thou shalt enjoy presents, possibly including sticky notes, and thou shalt wonder whether your daughter actually finished cleaning up her room yet, as you did really want that her to find that shirt that she bought from bell choir, where they make a joyous and very loud noise.

Thou shalt be thankful that you have the option of getting one year older, lo, as opposed to disintegrating into dust as your children often remind you you shall. Thou shalt remind thyself that the birthday celebration is as much for others as for thyself, as demonstrated by the male progeny returning to the house of his parents, for this birthday is just as much about allowing others to eat of cake as it is for thyself to eat of cake.

And lastly, thou shalt not regret not having time to make a pie. For having a husband in the hospital is hard enough, without having to think about baking anything for a while.

                                                                      -       The Book of Jubilations 9:1-14 



This ancient passage was revealed this week by Younger Daughter.  For my birthday she presented me with a twenty-page tome entitled The Common Household Bible.  This venerable volume consisted of my scripturish blog posts, interspersed with holy writings (newly revealed to Younger Daughter as she sat in her cave-room) pertaining to the Common Household, the passage above being just one example.

This is a work of love and I love it.  It provided much levity during a week which was difficult, not only for national news (which is always difficult these days), but also because of the Common Household Husband’s quite brief stay in the hospital.  (Please do not tell my mother he was in the hospital.)  He is out of the hospital and doing fine.

The cake was chocolate with chocolate frosting and raspberry filling.  And then there was another chocolate cake with chocolate frosting at book club. Jubilation!

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

The Professor has questions about the election


Here is a guest post from the Common Household Husband, who is a university professor.  He takes a cue from his students on important questions to ask about the election.


* * * * * * * *


There is an election today. My wife will be working the polls.  These are some of the questions I asked her:

Will this election cover all of the political landscape for the past term, or just the last few weeks?

How many questions will be on the ballot?

Is each question on the ballot worth the same number of points?

Will some questions on the ballot have more than one correct answer?

If yes, will I lose points for selecting an incorrect answer?

Will calculators be needed for this election?

Will phones be allowed?

I don’t do well on electronic ballots. Can I have a paper ballot?

I arranged several weeks ago for a ride home on the day of the election. Can I take the election when I get back?

I am uncomfortable in crowds. Can I take the election in a separate room at a time of my convenience?

Will the results of the election be curved?

After the election is done, can I meet with you to go over my selections on the ballot?

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Balloon Car Science

A guest post written by Younger Daughter

Prologue

As Lab Partner and I stood, with the sun at our backs and the balloon car before us, we knew that we could do no more. It was about to be winter break, and neither one of us would be here on the day that the balloon cars would be tested, since we were instead going to various lectures and better learning opportunities (a.k.a. starting vacation early). There would be no more opportunities to improve, no more variables to test. Our grade was in the hands of our teacher, who had promised to test the car in our place, as we had asked him prior to signing our absence forms.

The trek had been long and arduous, and the car itself had gone through many redesignings, resulting in broken corks, makeshift straws, and wood shavings all over our desks. But now, as we stared at the CD wheels, chopstick axles, and balloon set to propel us to glory, we could not help but feel proud, and terrified. For if it didn’t work, if it didn’t go the distance required… It would result in a grade of zero. For both of us.

The Epic of the Physics Balloon Car

When we returned from break, both Lab Partner and I checked our grades anxiously, as we waited for this notoriously tardy teacher to put in the grades he had neglected all week, apparently unaware of our desperation. But when it finally appeared, our shock rang for miles around the sun, for a zero appeared next to the 25 points meant for our balloon car. Partner and I were both angry, but I felt that it was a fault of our own, that our shaky and fragile vehicle had been unable to stand up to the challenge. Partner encouraged me to stand and fight, and ask our teacher why we got a zero, but confronting a teacher, especially such a one as this, about this kind of decision? I remained behind, and Partner went to fight alone.

He returned, yea, with not broken and bloody bones from a reading of the riot act, yet with grave news. For our teacher, in his treachery, had not even tested our balloon car, and had given us zeroes without explanation. Though both of us boiled under this betrayal, the might of the teacher was too great, and we knew we could not face him. We resigned ourselves to the zero, with the promise of further burdens of homework and points to come.

Yet, the gods were with us, and there came a time when we had completed our next lab early, and the teacher’s mercy was enough to allow us to test our balloon car in front of him. We went into the hallway, bound by walls (though no windows, as our school was designed like a prison), and ready to redeem our zeroes that had brought our grades down a letter.

But fate is a fickle mistress, for though she had given us the chance to bring back our grades, she sent down the gods of Clumsiness and Poor Planning, causing our balloon car to fall to pieces. We were almost turned to tears at the sight of this collapsed vehicle, yet we did not despair. We rushed inside, grabbed materials, and began to rebuild. We created new wheels, making up new designs off the top of our heads, grabbing and cutting and taping. And yet, every time we tested it, it was not enough. Either it would run into a wall, or else it wouldn’t go the required distance for getting a grade, and once again we were close to despairing. I ran back into the classroom to get more materials, and thunder and lightning seemed to flash as the teacher raised his head. “Oh, are you guys ready? I’ll come out.” With terror in my heart, and prayer on my lips, I had no choice but to lead him out into the hallway. I blew up the balloon, as Partner set the car facing the right way, and I knew this was our last chance. We would either succeed, or fail. There was no alternative. We attached the balloon, braced ourselves for our fates, and released.

It trundled forward, the balloon pushing the product of my lungs, turning it into propellant. But, something was different about it this time. Something had changed. The balloon car kept going… and going… and it didn’t stop! It even went past the required distance, giving Partner and me bonus points for all our work! Truly, the gods were on our side that day, as our hard work and belief in Lady Luck had paid off at last. The teacher entered in our points the next day, jumping our grades to over 100 percent. And at last, the balloon car could disappear from our minds into the epochs of history.

* * * * * * * *

When Younger Daughter reported this triumph to us, she was particularly excited about the balloon car going even further than required.  My husband said, “That is evidence of God.”  Then he asked, “What was the problem – why wouldn’t it go the first few times?”

YD said, not quite explaining,  “It would either stop dead or hit into the wall.”

My husband, ever practical said, “Clearly the solution is to move the wall.”


I must add that this physics class is YD’s least favorite class this school year. When she says that the balloon car will disappear from her mind, she means it.  Also, in the first sentence the “sun at our backs” is a metaphorical sun.  The school building is truly prison-like, with very little sunlight penetrating the interior.  I guess the architect thought that light would be a distraction from learning.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Guest Post: Workout Music

Here is a rare thing: a guest post from the Common Household Son.  When I dropped him off at college last weekend, my jaw dropped when I saw where the college was housing him.  I told him he would probably never again live in such a swanky place.  I’m glad he’s taking advantage of his situation.

* * * * * * * * * *


Having spent all summer at a desk job and eating wonderful food provided by my mother, I decided this semester to try out this hip new thing called “exercise”.  I am currently staying at a 4-star hotel until my dorm is finished being constructed, and since it has a fitness center free for guests, I resolved to avail myself of this opportunity.

One difficulty that presented itself was what music to listen to.  Music would be essential to my workout, since there is no way I could exercise continuously for more than 5 minutes without any sort of entertainment.  The problem is, I am as selective in my music choice as I am in my diet (as I’m sure my mom will attest), and I listen almost exclusively to classical music.  Slow lyrical music is nice, but it’s not very motivating, so I had to go through my playlists and pick out the pieces that had little to no slow section.  I came up with the following exercise playlist, reproduced here for anyone else who just can’t pump iron to the sound of Mozart:

Symphony #5 Mov. 1 (Beethoven)
Symphony #5 Mov. 4 (Beethoven)
Ride of the Valkyries (Wagner)
Festive Overture (Shostakovich)
First Suite for Military Band Mov. 3: March (Holst)
Pas Redoublé (Saint-Saëns)
Kingfishers Catch Fire Mov. 2 (John Mackey)
Jupiter (Holst)
Symphony #4 Mov. 4 (Tchaikovsky)
The Legend of Zelda 25th Anniversary Medley (Koji Kondo)
Gerudo Valley (Koji Kondo)
Candide Overture (Bernstein)
Star Wars: Main Theme (John Williams)
Star Wars: Imperial March (John Williams)
Star Wars: Battle in the Forest (John Williams)
Star Wars: Throne Room and End Title (John Williams)
E.T. Flying Theme (John Williams)
Superman Theme (John Williams)
Raiders March (John Williams)
March from 1941 (John Williams)
Olympic Fanfare and Theme (John Williams)
Wine-Dark Sea Mov. 3 (John Mackey)
Symphony #7 Mov. 4 (Beethoven)
L'Arlésienne - Suite No. 2: Farandole (Bizet)
Children of Sanchez (marching band version)
Big Noise from Winnetka (marching band version)

I spent an hour on the treadmill, running 5 mph in 10-minute intervals, and didn’t even use up half of this playlist.  I realized too late that it might not have been a good idea to do this the night before the first day of school, when I had to bike all over campus.  I’m still sore, and I’ll probably do it again on Wednesday.  Still, I at least have some excellent exercise music to help me through.  If you have any suggestions for classical exercise music, feel free to post them in the comments.


* * * * * * * * * *

Bonus:  photo tour of his 4-star hotel room:

We'll start with the bathroom, which is twice the size of the
usual college dorm room.

The bed is twice the size and has twice the mattress thickness
of the usual college dorm bed. 

When he first went to college, we forbade him a TV.
For the next few weeks, he's got the use of this one. Plus cable!

This is the hotel lobby.  Mahogany pillars.

Hotel lobby with non-ratty furniture.
Doesn't being in college *require* the presence of ratty
 furniture as part of the experience?

DO NOT TOUCH THE STUFF IN THE MINI-BAR!
THOSE ARE $20 POTATO CHIPS!