Hands off, you jagoffs!

 Sunday April 6, 2025

Yesterday, April 5th, was a very good day.  As good a day as I could hope for given the current situation.  The spring blooms are starting to show, and so is The Resistance.

TL;DR - our Hands Off rally was a huge success.  We showed up, we listened, we yelled, we sang, we brandished signs, we marched.  I hope to God somebody noticed.  Maybe at least God noticed, although the track record might not be too promising there.  According to the Bible it took God 130 to 400 years (depending how you count it) to notice the Israelites in slavery.   Regardless, I’m in it now for the long haul.

If you went to a Hands Off rally on April 5th, I would love to hear about your experience.

 

Photo credit: Corey Buckner

The crowd extends well down the street in both directions.  Estimated attendance: 6,000+.  That’s probably me standing next to the sound equipment table, behind the pillar on the right.  Or not.  But that’s where I stood when I wasn’t trying to herd the general public off the portico.

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The excruciatingly long version, which I write mainly so I can remember it later:

Three rallies in Pittsburgh

The leaders of seven grassroots groups in Pittsburgh worked together to hold one of three “Hands Off!” rallies here in Allegheny County.  (The “Hands Off!” rallies were a nationwide effort.)  

My grassroots group is Progress PA, (or if that doesn’t work you can find us on Facebook, on Instagram.  PPA is also on Bluesky but haven’t posted much there yet.  I and my good friend J, the PPA Treasurer and person who holds the group together, helped with planning.  

Our rally was held at the City-County building in downtown Pittsburgh – we had about 6,000 attendees.  At the same time, another grassroots group, called “50501” (Fifty-fifty-one), held their rally at Schenley Plaza near the University of Pittsburgh. I haven’t seen any attendance estimate for that.  

Then later in the afternoon, there was a Hands Off! rally in Shadyside at the corner of Fifth and Shady Aves, hosted by a woman who has been bravely holding a one-woman daily protest at that location – that one had about 1,200 in attendance.

5 PM rally crowd at Fifth and Shady Aves.   I wasn’t at this one. 

 Photo credit: Rory M. 

Who was there

Our downtown rally had 10 (!) people slated to speak, including Conor Lamb, my former congressperson, and candidate for US Senate in 2022, who lost to John Fetterman in the primary.  Most Democrats I know now keenly rue that loss.  Only one of our speakers couldn’t be there.  

Other speakers were a disability rights activist, a reproductive rights storyteller, a trans activist, a public health advocate, a queer activist, a union leader, a chemistry prof, and the executive director of the PA Democratic Party (he did the most cussing of all of them).

Several members of Progress PA were able to attend, and helped with carrying stuff and herding wanderers off the portico.  

Pittsburgh Raging Grannies.  Photo credit: Heather Mull

We also had The Pittsburgh Raging Grannies, a singing group that writes alternative progressive lyrics to well-known songs.  At one point they led the crowd in singing the first verse of “America the Beautiful” (regular lyrics).  It was heartwarming to hear our huge crowd of patriots sing.  Then they launched into their own lyrics, of which here is one verse: 

How beautiful it could have been

Without unending greed,

And special interest politics

Have made our nation bleed.

America! America!

Where is the Bill of Rights?

All our dreams have been replaced

By rampant corporate might.

Chantress

For our Hands Off rally, I was put in charge of chants - pulling from various sources and writing some original ones.  I had about 10 days’ warning, but found the portion of my brain concerned with rhyme and meter is not what it had been.  (For instance, I wrote this in 2013.)  

I did come up with a chant in which the crowd’s response was “Hands off, you jagoffs!”  Jagoff is a local derogatory term which means “jerk” but it is more insulting than that.  

In high school, I would have been voted “Least Likely to Raise Hand in Class” and definitely “Least Likely to Stand In Front of a Crowd and Shout”.   But incipient fascism calls all of us to strange duty – I was tasked with doing crowd warmup with those chants, before the event start-time. 

Before the rally I printed off 3 copies of my 15-pages of chants, in 14-point font.  I didn’t have time to memorize anything.  I also did not have much time to practice, because these days I’m:

• writing snarky-furious letters to my Senators, 

• managing our grassroots group Progress PA 

• helping to plan for three more grassroots upcoming actions,

• learning better how to use the voter list app,

• getting ready to door knock on behalf of School Board candidates, 

• working as a member of the anti-racism team at church, 

• singing in the Lenten choir, 

• cooking for Passover,  

• reading books. 

All good stuff.  But overwhelming. Oh yeah, and paid work (part-time).  

I put my chant papers on a clipboard that says [Younger Daughter’s Name], glad to be taking some family support with me.

What I brought

In addition to personal items (keys, cell phone, tiny wallet w/drivers license,

a bit of cash, a credit card, bandaids, asthma inhaler) I also brought:

• Cap in case of light rain

• Umbrella in case of heavy rain

• Sturdy comfortable shoes

• pb&j sandwich

• a very old box of Froot Loops that I found in the closet

• Water bottles

• Kleenex

• Lip balm

• Cough drops

• 3 printed copies of rally chants

• 5 letters from me to my Senators, including 3 handwritten, 2 printed

• Tiny flags: US, trans, LGBTQ

• Bigger American flags (about 25-inch pole, so still not huge)

• Rally sign with message (double-sided), wrapped in plastic.  I hate using the foamcore and doubly hate wrapping it in plastic, but heavy rain was predicted and for this one time, I didn’t want to mess around with a floppy peeling sign.

Before the end of the rally, I had left the bigger American flags behind

in a pile somewhere, and the people who had borrowed my rally chants

papers were at the opposite end of the march from me.  I only used my

rally sign during the march, as my role prevented me from holding on to

it during the speeches.  

Rally Day

On Saturday my good friend J and I arrived at the City County building at 11:30 AM and helped set up stuff.  We soon found our friend B, who also helped set up. At 12:15 PM I led chants for 15 minutes.  When I mentioned Senator Fetterman, there was a HUGE growl/ groan/ boo which took me aback – special animosity for our Dem Senator who has collaborated with the Musk-TrumPutin regime.  

Then the rally started in earnest at 12:30.  My voice was hoarse by then.  After a while I began to feel dehydrated, so I drank one whole bottle of water.  Not a mistake, but there were consequences later.  The rain held off.

Leading rally chants before the event starts in earnest

(sign language interpreter on the right).    Photo credit: Heather Mull

My other assignment was to keep random people from the crowd off of the portico, for the security of the speakers.  My friends J and B also helped with this.  It proved to be a near impossible task. A few people from the crowd came up on the portico to ask if they too could speak.  Ummm, NO.  One person told me she was dissatisfied with the first speakers because they hadn’t been using expletives.  “I just want to say ‘Fuck Donald Trump’,” she calmly explained.  (Later speakers used plenty of expletives.)  A few people just wanted a photo from up there. 

My former Congressperson (now private citizen) Conor Lamb speaks.  Photo credit: Heather Mull.

I heard almost none of the speeches, because the sound was distorted on the portico where I was.  I can tell you with certainty, though, that scientists speaking at rallies need to shorten their speeches.  I’ve been to several rallies now with scientists speaking 10-15 minutes.  Somebody please tell the scientists to just prepare an abstract!  No supporting evidence needed at a rally.  

Whenever there was a pause in the speaking, someone in the crowd would start their own chant.  Everyone was energized.

A few times I did go down into the crowd, to get some photos. The crowd extended way down the street both ways, and also into the parking lot across the street.   A congenial and yet angry bunch of people.  

The rally was a huge success.   Church friends and other friends later confirmed that whereever they were in the crowd, everyone was pleasant, friendly, and helpful.  The speakers and chants were invigorating.   The crowd stayed for a whopping 90 minutes listening to speeches.  I felt weak and dehydrated again so I drank more water.  There was one incident of fainting (not me).  One Progress PA board member, T, was nearby; T’s spouse L, who is a nurse, was able to assist until the paramedics arrived.  Thank you, L!  Such events often have at least one fainting incident. 

National reports noted that none of the Hands Off rallies around the country included violence.  (Unlike Jan 6, 2021.)

Marching to Mellon Square

The speeches ended, and we marched up Grant Street, turned the corner and marched down Liberty Ave to Mellon Square (which is not the same as Mellon Park or Bakery Square).  Waiting for us at Mellon Square were the giant Trump Chicken, and a tent with a place to drop off letters to be hand-delivered to our Senators. (I dropped off my 5 letters.)  A saintly person brought water bottles for marchers.  I was still parched, so drank more water.

The Trump Chicken.  Photo credit M.H.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

At Mellon Square we had one more speaker - a rep from an immigrant rights organization, substituting for the original speaker who couldn’t be there.  It started to rain.  By this time my bladder was like to burst, but I ignored it.  The director of the event unexpectedly asked me to lead a few more chants, but my three printed sheets of chants had disappeared, so I had to read them off my phone, in the rain.  We did a few, including this one (sing-chant):

I don’t know but I’ve been told

The people here are mighty bold!

And there’s one thing clear to me

The people here have unity!

Lies and threats will not divide

The People marching side by side!

Which I discovered afterwards is based on a US Marine Corp running cadence!  

Leading chants at Mellon Square,
near the end of the rally.

Finally at around 3 PM our resistance action ended.  My bladder said,

"Hey, it's been 4.5 hours." We trudged to the car and J sped us home

to her waiting bathroom.  I have to remember next time not to have

ANY TEA AT ALL the morning of a rally.

We will see if anyone pays attention to our effort.  Regardless of

what we do, spring has arrived and the trees are blooming beautifully. 

While I do like spring, my favorite season always is the fall

… of the patriarchy.

The Accident-Free Tourist

A Commodious Tour of The Bathrooms of New York

For a woman of a certain age, such as I, the difference between a delightful and a disastrous travel experience often comes down to the availability of an adequate bathroom at just the moment when it is needed.  The word “adequate” here means reasonably clean, with an actual toilet seat, and running water and soap to wash up with afterwards. 

 

This bathroom is not only adequate, but green.

In my younger years, I did not let the threat of inadequate bathrooms stop me from traveling.  Some of my destinations did not have Western style toilets but I was agile and learned how not to fall in. 

The worst bathroom I ever encountered in my life was not in a foreign country, but stateside, at the Roosevelt Hospital emergency room in New York City in 1992.  Even 22 years later, as this year’s vacation to NYC approached, I remembered that experience with trepidation.

After our arrival in Manhattan on a Sunday evening in August, we hopped on the subway down to Canal Street and wandered around Chinatown.  I saw many signs that said, “Restrooms for patrons only.”  This struck fear into the heart of my bladder.  I realized that I would have to take advantage of every adequate bathroom available to me, because it might be many hours until another acceptable toileting facility could be found.

The first New York bathroom I visited was in the small Chinatown restaurant where we ate dinner.  This bathroom was so narrow that I had to insert myself into it sideways to squeeze past the sink, Lilliputian though it was.  The walls were nearly touching the toilet on each side. This mini-bathroom did meet my Adequate criteria, though.

The following evening we went to a restaurant called Trattoria Trecolori.  I had beet and goat cheese salad and potato soup, Youngest Daughter had chicken parmigiana, and my husband had frutti di mare with black squid ink pasta.  Delicioso! But let me not waste time telling you about the food.  The bathroom was fine, and had a clever poster on the wall.  It was here that my husband suggested that since I obviously was just in NYC to tour the bathrooms, I should take photos of them.

 

The more-than-adequate bathroom at
Trattoria Trecolori on 47th Street

Not all Manhattan bathrooms are squeezed for space.  Our hotel bathroom was spacious and clean, and included both a hair dryer and a mysterious phone thing on the wall.  Maybe it is like the call button at the nursing home.    

Hotel bathroom: plenty of counter space for
three people's things

Other end of hotel bathroom.
If that bag is the hair dryer, what is that thing on the wall?
Maybe it is a Soviet listening device.

Of course, The World’s Largest Store is bound to have a large bathroom.  After a glorious visit to the Empire State Building (getting there early is key – no big lines!), we just had to stop off at Macy’s in Herald Square.  The cavernous facilities were appropriate for such a bastion of swanky capitalism.  In a nod to American individualism, in the sink area each spot had its own separate soap, water, and hand dryer. 

 

Largest Store; Nice Bathroom

I really TRIED to take photos in the bathroom without
anyone noticing.  This lady in Macy's was quite surprised
when she came out of her stall!  I have cropped the photo to
hide her image. Fortunately I was not arrested for
taking bathroom photos.

I am happy to say that not once did I experience a bathroom without toilet paper.  In fact, supplies seemed to be plentiful.  One evening, we met some friends at a Turkish restaurant called Beyoglu (delicious and reasonably priced).  The bathroom had enough room for this very large supply of toilet paper.

In New York, many important functions occur underground, and toileting is no exception.  The facilities at many restaurants are down the stairs in the basement. God help people who are wheelchair bound or who have bad knees in New York.  No bathroom for you! 

After breakfast at Lindy's, I trudged down the stairs to the bathroom.

When traveling in NYC, you should be aware that some tourist locations are integrally related to water.  For instance, the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island are both on actual islands, and can only be reached by tourist boat, which can only be reached by standing in line for two hours in the hot sun, which can only be survived by drinking a gallon of water.  My advice to you is:  as soon as you set foot on that boat, forget finding a seat with a great view, and instead go directly into the bathroom (it is to the left of the entrance ramp).  There will not be a line, and you might even finish your business before the boat leaves the dock.  My further advice to you is:  buy your ticket for the Statue of Liberty boat ahead of time!

Lady Liberty is HOLLOW inside, so she never
needs to find a bathroom.

An unexpected problem was where to put my stuff in the bathrooms of New York.  NYC does not seem to be fond of hooks in stalls.  In Greenwich Village, at a Panera’s type eating establishment, the bathroom was adequate if industrial-looking, but got bonus points for having a hook for my bags. 

+20 points for sturdy hooks

Part of our travels took us to the East Side neighborhood where we lived in the years BC (Before Children).   We had a snack in the diner where my husband proposed some twenty-five years ago!  The current version of this diner included an ancient man who spent the whole time swabbing the floors with a greasy mop.  He applied this mop to the bathroom floor, which meant that when I entered, it was all I could do to keep from slipping and falling.  The bathroom was too small to permit falling far.  Nevertheless, this bathroom rated Adequate.

Not the exact spot where my husband proposed to me, but close.

A trip to New York is enhanced if you have the opportunity to take in a theater performance.  We went to the Gershwin Theater to see Wicked.  I have unadulterated loathing for spending the entire intermission waiting in line “to go,” but it had to be done.  It was there that I experienced the militarized ladies-room line.  The theater had actually hired a bathroom coordinator who stood just inside the door and directed each of us to the next free stall.  It was a very smooth operation.   

Given this tour’s focus on waste, I thought it would be appropriate to show you that we were right behind a garbage truck as we headed down into the Lincoln Tunnel for our trip home. 

Homeward bound