 |
| Morning note, 2015 |
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. Secretly, though, this year I did make one.
I have already failed to keep it. That’s the fate of most New Year’s resolutions. Soon the foot traffic at the local gym will decrease. Consumption of bacon will increase and the eating of lettuce will fall. The world will return to the usual level of cussing and cussedness.
My New Year’s resolution was to use no exclamation points.
Sometime in the 1980s, my brother the compiler programmer taught me that the exclamation point can also be called “bang”. The punctuation combination (say that ten times fast) ?! can be called “interrobang”. I find ?! to be quite useful in the modern world, as there is much that is surprisingly questionable.
The symbol ! is also used in math to denote factorial, which involves an enthusiastic increase in numerical value.
 |
| Waffles!!!!! Toast!!!!! Transmogrifier!!!!! The meaning of this exclamation-point-laden written exchange among Common Household family members is lost in the sands of time. |
The use of most punctuation has declined. To denote the end of your sentence, you don’t need a period.
Just send the message
Or even better send a gif
Which is pronounced with a hard g because otherwise it is peanut butter
I feel the reverse is true for the exclamation point. The universe of words is awash in exclamation points. Attempting to live exclamation-point-free will result in one’s written comments being misinterpreted as grumpy, conflicted, or downright hostile.
Examples – someone posts online:
I just got the job I wanted!
We just adopted a new pet!!
My possible exclamation-less responses:
Great.
That’s just fabulous.
Inner reaction toward me from the original poster: You misanthrope!
If I want to sound enthusiastic without using an exclamation point, I would have to use a lot more words, such as,
I am very glad you have been hired for the exciting job you were seeking as a professional paint drying watcher.
That is so wonderful that you were able to adopt your new armadillo. I applaud you for your care of animals.
I very quickly reverted to using an exclamation point in my responses. This January has me feeling grumpy enough, without contributing to the feeling with waspish replies.
Cheerio!
 |
| As true in 2023 as it was in 2017. Voting for judges is important enough to warrant an exclamation point. |
.jpeg)
