Mal de débarquement syndrome (MdDS)

The Inside Passage is relatively calm water.
This is the churniest it got.

It feels like I’m still on the cruise ship. We left the ship weeks ago.

I thought it would be worthwhile writing about my condition, because it’s so strange and rare.  Maybe someone else experiencing this syndrome will find this post and know they are not alone.

The symptoms

Most people, when they get off a ship, feel the simulation of the boat rocking for a few minutes or hours, and then the feeling goes away.  They get their land legs.  We got off the boat the morning of Aug 3rd, and by evening I still had the swaying feeling.  Oddly, though, I did not feel the rocking motion when I was on the bus to the hotel.  I also didn’t notice it when we were on the plane flight home.  And I drove us home from the airport without giving it a thought.

Now, nearly seven weeks later, I still have sea legs, or perhaps more accurately, sea brain. Just sitting in my chair now, it feels as if I am bobbing up and down.  Or if I get up to walk, it feels like things are swaying side to side.  If I stand with my feet close together and close my eyes, it’s a recipe for feeling off balance completely.

But if I’m in a moving vehicle, I don’t feel the sensation at all.  Even though the moving vehicle is a car that is not rocking from side to side.

If I concentrate very hard on a task, I don’t notice the feeling as much, which suggests to me that it is a brain condition.  We’ll see if I can teach new tricks to my old dog of a brain.

Enemy of enjoyment while boating: fog.
Enemy of enjoyment after boating: MdDS.

The diagnosis and correlations

The vestibular therapist, whom I shall call Irene because she is so peaceful and calm, diagnosed me with mal de débarquement syndrome (MdDS).  (She did the maneuver on me with the infrared ocular device and turning my head, to rule out BPPV, which I have experienced many times before.)  

Mal de débarquement means “the illness of getting off the boat” or, the darker interpretation I prefer, “the evil of leaving the cruise”.  As a former French major, I delight in saying débarquement as Frenchified as I can, “DAY-bar-que-MAHN” but that is about the only delight I find.  Americans, including VT Irene, say “dee- BARK- ment.”

VT Irene said my condition is caused by a mismatch between my brain and my ocular and vestibular something-or-other.  In short, my brain can’t believe my eyes nor my inner ear.  

This condition may be more prevalent in people who get frequent migraines, which I get only occasionally (one every few months), which starts with a visual aura, followed by a headache, but not an excruciating one.  Last week, though, I experienced two of those visual auras in one afternoon.  Maybe VT Irene also mentioned a correlation with anxiety, which I have but not officially diagnosed, and not treated by drugs. I also have acrophobia, which is defined as an unreasonable fear of heights.  

I feel that anxiety and fear of heights are reasonable in these interesting times.

Our cabin was on Deck 11.  I did not look down.

The treatment

VT Irene said that there is no for-certain immediate cure.  

She encouraged me to try the dai protocol stripes exercise of watching a video of stripes moving one direction (video available for either direction!), while tilting my head slowly from right to left and back again.  For 5 minutes.  I’ve tried it once a day for a few weeks (missing a few days when we had visitors) but it has not measurably changed my plight.  I probably haven’t done it enough. Blah.  It’s very boring.

VT Irene also has me doing exercises involving looking to the right and left (or up and down) rapidly, including while walking. I discovered that the Big Box store at about 9:30 AM is an excellent place to try this.  I have the shopping cart to hang on to.  Consumer traffic is light at that time.  The aisles are really long.  If you see a woman walking her shopping cart down the aisle looking rapidly right to left, that’s me, pretending to look for the kitchen tools aisle but surreptitiously doing vestibularity.

A few things have temporarily helped:

- driving the car.  Seems to also be ok as a passenger.  (However, perhaps sometime I will write another post about my BsDS = back seat driverism syndrome).  At today’s gas prices, this is not a viable solution.  The MdDS returns as soon as I get out of the car.

- walking while holding 3-pound weights in both hands, with my arms by my sides.  This was one of the V.T. exercises.

- walking while imagining holding 3-pound weights in both hands, with my arms by my sides.  See, it’s all about retraining the brain.

- sitting down, concentrating on a task.

Probably traveling by train or plane would also relieve the symptoms temporarily.

No idea if canoe travel would relieve symptoms.

No amusement park rides for me!

The life

In my life, I have not usually suffered from motion sickness.  Thankfully and amazingly, the MdDS has not made me nauseous.  But it does make me reluctant to walk by myself, for fear I will fall down or look drunk to the other humans.  My walking feels worse to me than it looks to others, friends tell me.  I have not fallen, but occasionally flail my arms around to regain balance.  And MdDS has made me very frustrated.

I’m afraid when walking through crowds, as I did last week at the high school football game, that someone will bump into me and I will crumble.  The MdDS limits my motivation to do my other therapy exercises, for the sciatica.

One of the electeds I am campaigning for.

I have decided to just go on with my life, which right now includes knocking on doors to talk to voters.  It’s for my mental health more than anything else.  When I’m door knocking, the MdDS is not quite as bad, as I’m concentrating on a higher purpose, so I manage to somewhat ignore this unwanted companion.

I’m already prone to vestibular issues, with many occurrences of benign paroxysmal positional vertigo, sadly not a French ailment.  And I had one horrid episode in June 2025 which sent me to the ER; afterward the ENT doc said that was not BPPV but something else vestibular, the cause never firmly determined.   Despite my regular inner ear ailments, I never imagined this MdDS condition would be the long-lasting outcome of our marvelous cruise along the Inside Passage of Alaska.  I talked to plenty of experienced cruise-goers before our trip and not a one mentioned this as a possibility.

The brain in the train or airplane feels mainly on a flat plane. 

Make it so.

St Michael's, Annapolis, Maryland.

NIH article for those interested. I haven't read the whole thing.

First lines: August 2026 edition

Roses and book review, 2018

Below are the first lines of the books I finished reading in August: 4 fiction and 2 non-fiction.  Two books feature Halley’s Comet prominently.  I didn’t plan it that way.

Before getting to the first lines, a question for all y’all.  One of the authors I read this month is John Green.  I haven’t read any of his fiction: Looking for Alaska (2005),  An Abundance of Katherines (2006), Paper Towns (2008), The Fault in Our Stars (2012), Turtles All the Way Down (2017).

Do you have any recommendations from this list?  Not that I need more to read.  But I do like his nonfiction writing style.

 

First lines:

 

Book 1

Southeast Alaskans call it a sucker hole when a patch of blue opens in the clouds and suckers you into thinking the sky is clearing.  Tourists fall for them regularly.

 

It did not rain near us that day.

 

Book 2

When I visit the back corners of my life again after so long a time, littlest things jump out first.  The oilcloth, tiny blue windmills on white squares, worn to colorless smears at our four places at the kitchen table.

 

 

Book 3

The single drop of pee made a pitiful splash.  Fred sighed as he stood over the cracked toilet bowl that, like him, had seen better days.

 

 

Book 4

Around the turn of the nineteenth century, the Scottish tinkerer and chemist James Watt began working on a new project.  He had already achieved fame and success for making steam engines more efficient, helping to fuel the industrial revolution that would radically reshape human history.

This train is only pretending to be a steam engine.
Hogwart's Express, Universal Studios Park

 

Book 5

Prologue 

Comet Halley reached perihelion—the far side of the sun—on April 10, 1910. It swung in a great arc and began hurtling toward Earth at 120,000 miles per hour, just as Stephen Pike was unpacking his case at the halfway house.

 

When I searched my photo library for "comet"
this came up.  Wrong kind of Comet.
Santa's Stable in gingerbread, 2014 (not made by me)

 

Book 6

Belgian Shoes

Angus Lordie, portrait painter, citizen of Edinburgh, husband of Domenica Macdonald and owner (custodian, perhaps, according to modern sensibilities) of Cyril, the only dog in Scotland to have a gold tooth; that Angus Lordie stood in a room of his flat at 44 Scotland Street, wondering what to wear. 

 

 1/4 

Everywhere, from sunup to sunup, the world is full of song.  The days are hot, hot, and all the hot day long I listen to the bees lifting from flower to flower, to the watchful chipmunk sounding its chock chock chock alarm while the red-tailed hawk wheels, crying, high in the sky.

Did not finish

This morning, my mother sat in front of me, covered neck to toe in a red-checkered, black-streaked wax tablecloth we’d been using as a hairdresser cape for a few years – fastened with a binder clip, of course.

 

The titles and authors revealed:

 

 

Book 1

Chasing Alaska: A Portrait of the Last Frontier Then and Now

By C.B. Bernard

280 pages.  2013.

nonfiction essays travel

Very good.  Well titled.  The author relates his own experience in Alaska along with a history of his cousin who was a bona fide arctic explorer.  The author is none too pleased with cruise ship tourists, of which I was one while reading the book.  He’s not wrong.  The book contains some hope for the preservation of species and habitats.  But so much has changed politically since this book was published in 2013 that I have to wonder if that hope is still warranted.

 

 

Book 2

The Whistling Season

Ivan Doig

345 pages • first pub 2006 

fiction historical

I enjoyed this story of a family in Montana, trying to make it forward after a big loss.  Overlaying the 1909-1910 story is a framework of a top educator in the late 1950s.  I appreciated the emphasis on the effect a good teacher can have, the pros and cons of a one-room school-house, and Halley’s comet as a plot device.   This is sort of a coming-of-age story–there are no grisly scenes–and it introduces a lot of SAT-type vocabulary words.  It felt to me like tame Y.A. lit.  Recommend if you need a calm story that praises education.

 

 

Book 3

The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

Anna Johnston

336 pages • first pub 2024

fiction contemporary

An amusing and at the same time wistful look at old age and life regrets.  If you don’t like reading about bodily fluids, skip this book.  But really, that’s what managing old age is often about, so you might as well dive in!  This may be the only book I’ve ever read that opens in a urinary fashion.

I really liked the characters and plot, although the Common Household Husband said for him the plot was too predictable.  In high school when we were reading The Scarlet Letter, everyone else knew who the perp was, but I did not figure it out until the author revealed it.  I rarely can guess the plot in advance. 

There was one trick in the narration which I did not appreciate.  It is revealed about 20 chapters in.  The author did it, I think to reinforce the parallels between some of the characters.  Really, we would have realized those parallels on our own.  But like I said, probably all other readers figured this out long before I did.

I read it for Book Club.   Half disliked it, because they just really didn’t want to read about all those fluids.  The other half liked it.

Toilet functions are #1 (and
sometimes #2) in this book.

 

 

Book 4

Everything is Tuberculosis

By John Green

198 pages • first pub 2025

nonfiction health history science

Recommended by numerous people, including E.S. in my book club, blogger Bibliomama, and one of my son’s friends.

A fast read, examining one widespread and deadly illness as an example for how humans could (but so far won’t) begin healing globally.  Ends with hope.  I recommend it.

 

Book 5

The Murder at World's End

A Stockingham & Pike Mystery #1

By Ross Montgomery

368 pages •2025 

fiction crime historical mystery

A good diversion.  I liked the characters, for the most part, but the nasty family members became tedious about half-way through.  This is the author’s first book for adults.  He has written mostly middle-grade fantasy.  

This is the second book in my reading this month which featured Halley’s Comet as integral to the plot.

Recommended by booktuber Steph of the channel Hathaway Ever After, as seen on this Topher’s Library video.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sK4hNTUZxVA&t=2s

 

 

Book 6

Love in the Time of Bertie

(44 Scotland Street series #15)

Alexander McCall Smith

256 pages • first pub 2021

fiction contemporary

I love reading about these characters in Edinburgh, Scotland.  Includes a highly improbable deus ex machina moment to get a character out of a fix, even more unlikely than the moment in Les Miserables when Jean Valjean is leaping across the roofs of Paris and falls into the … but never mind that.  McCall Smith mocks himself for this plot development.  

This reading had me looking up several things referenced in the book:

• The music An Orkney Wedding with Sunrise, by Peter Maxwell Davies. (worth a listen!) Make sure you are watching at timestamp 5:50.

• The opera titled The Electrification of the Soviet Union.  Yes, this opera does exist.  But I did not attempt to listen – not a fan of opera.

• The per capita chance of being hit by lightning, by country.  It’s higher in places with high agricultural labor.

• The location of Inverurie in relation to Aberdeen, Scotland.  The map shows some intriguingly-named local attractions, such as these, with some Google reviews:

• East Aquhorthies Stone Circle (“awsome place and not far from carpark just up a wee hill”

• Dalmadilly Ponds (“Nice wee place”; “a beautifully restored nature haven”; “Went to dalmadilly with my mate philly, was a bit chilly, philly got lost and felt quite silly, beautiful views of nearby hillys and overall was good cause we seen a pond lily”)

• The Maiden Stone (“great wee stopover on route north”; “if you like stone bothering this is a place to visit”)

• Bass of Inverurie (“3 terrific Pictish stones under cover, interesting graveyard”)

 

So in addition to being a calm, thoughtful read, it was educational.

 1/4

I finished the “Summer” section of

The Comfort of Crows: A Backyard Year

Margaret Renkl

270 pages • first pub 2023  

Summer is not my most favorite season, but I think it is probably Margaret Renkl’s favorite.

So many good quotes and challenging thoughts.  Such as:

… let us consider the whine of the mosquito…who among us could love you? ….We could love you if we reminded ourselves that no creature is made up only of poison, that no life is only a source of irritation or pain. 

That’s a challenge, Margaret, to love mosquitoes.  You are better woman than I.

Or this:

We have come to August, a time when summer has gone on for so long that winter is scarcely a memory. … This is the time of summer when summer tells us it will never end.

But here is an ancient black gum rising so high I’m obliged to throw my head all the way back to see even its lowest branches, and next to its trunk is a single red leaf, fallen onto the forest floor. … I can hardly believe what it is telling me, dripping in the cloud-drenched woods, but I recognize it now: a prophesy.

I do love it when the first leaves begin falling in late August, to forecast the arrival of autumn.

DNF

The True True Story of Raja the Gullible (and His Mother)

Rabih Alameddine

326 pages • first pub 2025 

fiction contemporary lgbtqia+

I might come back to it someday.  But right now, despite my own fondness of cussing, I could not take the repeated foul-mouthed phrase.

- - - - - - - - - - - - 

Halley’s Comet is next predicted to be visible from Earth in 2061.  Shall we have a party?

Redbud tree, midsummer, 2016

First Lines: May 2020 edition

Five books finished during May.   Except one of them was a short paper, not a book.

Book 1

Chapter One: The Other Minister

It was nearing midnight and the Prime Minister was sitting alone in his office, reading a long memo that was slipping through his brain without leaving the slightest trace of meaning behind.

Book 2

There’s no prize at Mesa Grande High School for being first to finish eating.

Book 3

Once, in a house on Egypt Street, there lived a rabbit who was made almost entirely of china.

Book 4

The possibility of a worldwide influenza pandemic in the near future is of growing concern for many countries around the globe. Many predictions of the economic and social costs of a modern-day influenza pandemic are based on the effects of the influenza pandemic of 1918. This report begins by providing a brief historical background on the 1918 influenza pandemic, a short-lived, but tragic event that has all but escaped the public’s consciousness today.

Book 5

An account of the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah, the son of David, the son of Abraham.

And the titles revealed:

Book 1

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling © 2005

A good yarn, but I have to warn you, the ending is depressing.

Book 2

Other People's Crazy by Gregory Fletcher  (Young Adult lit).  © 2020

I read this at the suggestion of a friend, who knows the author.  She suggested it as a good YA book, without too much angst, and she was right.  This is a book about the largest kid in the high school being bullied by the smallest.  There is some angst, as there should be in literature, but I enjoyed the book a great deal.   Lots of calming philosophy here.

Book 3

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, by Kate DiCamillo.  © 2006.

This is the story of a toy china rabbit who has absolutely no agency – can only observe and eventually feel emotions, but cannot take any action on behalf of himself or others.  It is bold of the author to make such a character the main character, but it works.  It gives the reader some idea of how it must be to be a person with little agency in the world.  Quite relevant for these times.  This is presented as a children's book; despite the satisfying ending it felt quite heavy to me.

Book 4

Economic Effects of the 1918 Influenza Pandemic:  Implications for a Modern-day Pandemic, by Thomas A. Garrett, Assistant Vice President and Economist, Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, November 2007.

This paper may be a good place to start, on the topic of the economic effects of a pandemic.  It’s a short read.  I felt it glossed over huge concerns about income inequality and the inadequacy of the US health care system, and how those things would affect the outcome of a pandemic.  But it does show that some people in power were thinking about the economic impact of a pandemic, when the rest of us weren’t. This report is 25 pages.  You can find it here:

https://www.stlouisfed.org/~/media/files/pdfs/community-development/research-reports/pandemic_flu_report.pdf

Book 5

The Gospel of Matthew, written ~85 CE.

A speed reading to try to see real quick what Jesus would do.  What would Jesus do about reopening the church building during a covid pandemic?  My main takeaways:

-       Jesus had compassion for the sick and he did a lot of healing, over and over. 

-       Jesus kept trying to social-distance from crowds, but was not very successful at it. 

-       He acknowledged that what comes out of your mouth is what makes you nasty. 

-       On the other hand, Jesus was particularly grumpy and cantankerous with religious leaders.  He constantly challenged the authorities of that day.

-       Jesus said he desires mercy, not sacrifice.  The greatest commandments are to love God and love others as yourself.  Be humble. 

-       He told the Pharisees (who, in my view, unfairly get a bad rap in the gospels) that the truly important things are justice, mercy, and faith. 

-       He told a famous parable, in which the king praises those who gave to the needy food, drink, clothing, healing, and visits while in prison.

No firm answers there on how often to disinfect the pews, or whether brand-name wipes (if you can find ’em) are more effective than generic ones.  No instructions on which room of the church to take a sick person to.  No bolt from heaven on how to do contact tracing.  But a clear image of an itinerant preacher who provided healing for the sick, without charging a co-pay.

Arts and Lungs

Red Boat
Pastel by Older Daughter

Lake Scene
Pastel by Older Daughter

I have a nasty cough.  I now know that one cough drop can almost last through the entire first two movements of Brahms’ Piano Concerto No. 2, as played by Emanuel Ax. Yes, that was me you heard, hacking uncontrollably during the symphony concert.  I tried to suppress it, which only made me cry involuntarily and uncontrollably instead.  I had to break my own rule about not making an unnecessary motion during the performance, and leave between the third and fourth movements so the rest of you could properly hear the cadenzas and the part with the cello and all.

Emanuel Ax!  He played brilliantly.  He would look up while the orchestra played their part, as if to say, “I love hearing you all play.  You have my rapt attention.  Oooh, I like what you did there, violins!  Nice crisp notes there in the brass!  Go for it, percussion!” And then he would turn back to the piano and execute his phrases faultlessly, attacking or gliding effortlessly across the keys.  He looked like he was genuinely enjoying himself, even though you know it had to be the 8,145^th time he was playing that music.

My lungs calmed down after intermission.  The second half of the concert was chorus + orchestra, and it was excellent.  My favorite was Bernstein’s Chichester Psalms, which I had not heard before.  They also performed “O Fortuna” from Carmina Burana.  It’s possible to cough during that one and not be heard at all.  Just time your coughing fit for when the timpanist starts in.

And again with the cough at the opera the next night.  It was so bad at the opera that I had to leave the hall for the entire second act and read my book sitting outside the bathrooms in the opera hall basement.  Opera is my husband’s favorite, but not mine, so I wasn’t dreadfully disappointed, but this opera – Rossini’s Barber of Seville – looked like it would be amusing if I had been able to stay and watch.

I went through an entire bag of cough drops in one day.  And numerous doses of other medicines, gallons of herbal tea, water, soup, and prayer.  Waiting for something to work. 

So while I am going to get another dose of my friend dextromethorphan, I bring you this visual art drawn by Older Daughter.  She received pastel drawing sticks at Christmas and within an hour had drawn all of these, while we were sitting around chatting. 

Without further ado, I present:

Some of the Family as Star Wars Characters: Pastels

Dad Windu

Don't I look Imperial?

The artist's brother as The Hutt

The Artist herself, portrayed as a Wookie

A Stormtrooper Cousin