One day in January, I made kale chips, but, due to the absence of Oldest Daughter, we were not able to finish them off in one sitting. The next day I wanted to get them crispy again, so I stuck them in the toaster oven, and then left the kitchen. When I came back a few minutes later, the kitchen was smoky, and the toaster oven door looked dark and foreboding. I opened it up and found these charred remains.
|Where was Smokey the Bear when this happened?|
They had caught fire while I stepped out of the room, and Dante’s Inferno had occurred inside the toaster oven. The lesson here is to finish your kale chips promptly.
A couple weeks later, when I caught a cold, I decided to make myself some chicken soup. I had chicken in the freezer, so I put it in the microwave for 7 minutes to defrost, and left the kitchen. (See any pattern here, Dear Reader?) About 15 minutes later, I noticed the aroma of baked chicken reaching me in the office. I went to investigate and found the chicken and package thoroughly overcooked. I had apparently set the microwave for 70 minutes instead of 7 minutes. The lesson here is to wait for Passover, and its chicken matzo ball soup, before coming down with a cold.
Despite my husband’s claim that “You can’t overcook chicken,” this chicken had bonded with its packaging, thus rendering it carcinogenic, or at least unworthy for making soup. I threw it out (but only after taking a photo of it for my blog).
This morning I set the kettle on to boil, and then went to take a shower. My son saved the house from burning down. The lesson here is to make sure you have a Boy Scout in the kitchen when you start to make tea.
This is what it is like in a kitchen run by a perimenopausal gal.
My husband told me later of my mistake with the kettle, but I claimed I was excused because I still have residual anesthesia in my system from Friday’s Female Medical Procedure. Everything went well, but I did not get “toasterized,” as my friend puts it, because the doc said my particular anatomy made it impossible to perform the ablation. I am recovering very nicely, but I would like to be able to use the claim of having anesthesia in my system for another few weeks. Just in case I do something else stupid in the kitchen.
|For some reason I keep forgetting to try to scrub this stuff off.|
Amazingly, the toaster oven still works fine.