Saturday, October 26, 2019
Tuesday, October 8, 2019
The Common Household Husband, quoted
I decided not to try to write something
original today. Instead, I bring you...
Things My Husband Has Said Lately
Me:
We’re supposed to wear black tomorrow.
I wonder if I even have any black pants that fit.
Husband:
Well, there’s always Sharpies.
* * * * * * * *
Husband:
If you look at photos from the Israeli election you would conclude that
Trump is running for head of the Knesset.
* * * * * * * *
Me: I need a turtle costume by next Wednesday.
Husband: Check at the zoo, in the amphibian section.
Me, a confused non-biologist: Are turtles amphibians?
Husband, thinking for a moment: No, they are reptiles. Check in the reptile section.
Me:
Because when you are looking for an animal costume it’s important to be
precise about the classification.
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| The local Halloween store did not have any turtle costumes, but they did have this. Add bathrobe = instant Jesus or Apostle |
* * * * * * * *
I arrived home from worship at church. The scripture the pastor preached on that day
was 1 Timothy 2:1-7, which starts out:
“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions,
and thanksgivings be made for everyone….”
Husband: How was church?
Me, hanging my head in shame: The pastor said we have to pray for
EVERYONE.
Husband: Oh, MAN!
Everyone?! Really?!
* * * * * * * *
Oct 2, 2019
Me, solemnly: Did you know that you have
something in common with Bernie Sanders now?
Husband:
I do? I mean, I do not agree with him on his “college for
all” proposal.
Me:
He had a heart problem and had two stents put in.
Husband:
Good for him! But was he able to get a bagel with cream cheese after the procedure?
* * * * * * * *
Back in early September, my husband said,
“It’s not my job to make sense of things.”
I don’t remember what we had been talking
about, but I think it’s very hard these days, even though we have great and
unmatched wisdom, to make sense of anything.
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| This is why I needed to wear black - black or orange - to demand common sense gun legislation |
Sunday, September 1, 2019
First Lines: August 2019 edition
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| Younger Daughter, preteen, reading a book while seated in a pile of leaves November 2011 |
Here are the first lines of the four books I
finished reading in August. Here is where I must admit that all I want to do is retreat to a cave and read my books.
Book 1
It’s our bad luck to have teachers in this
world, but since we’re stuck with them, the best we can do is hope to get a
brand-new one instead of a mean old fart.
Book 2
I do not know where I will be when you read
this book.
As
I write this, a set of creased and folded papers sits on my desk, ten pages in
all, issued to me by the Department of Homeland Security. “Warrant for Arrest of Alien,” reads the top
right corner of the first page.
Book 3
On a sunny Saturday afternoon in Silicon
Valley, two proud fathers stood on the sidelines of a soccer field. They were
watching their young daughters play together, and it was only a matter of time
before they struck up a conversation about work.
Book 4
It was not complicated, and, as my mother
pointed out, not even personal: They had a hotel; they didn’t want Jews; we
were Jews.
The titles and authors revealed:
Book 1
Because of Mr. Terupt, by Rob
Buyea. © 2011. Young Adult fiction.
A very cool teacher. Rather a saint, in fact.
Book 2
Dear America, Notes of an Undocumented Citizen, by Jose Antonio Vargas. ©
2018.
An eye-opening book. I highly recommend it, and it’s a quick read. Ask yourself what you have done to earn your
citizenship. How do you define
‘citizenship’?
A few quotes:
The first
peoples who populated this land, Native Americans, were not considered United
States citizens until 1924, when the Indian Citizenship Act was passed.
- page 74
How the
push-and-pull factors of our migration are way more complicated than the need
to take a picture at the foot of the Statue of Liberty. How the largest groups of people who migrate
to the U.S.A. – voluntarily, forcibly, unknowingly, like them – do so because
of what the U.S. government has done to their countries.
-
page 205
[About
immigration legislation which changed markedly in 1996]
Taken
together, these bills not only expanded the criteria for who can get detained
and deported, they also expanded the population of immigrants who couldn’t
adjust their status, leading them to fear detention and deportation at any
point. It’s a government-created,
taxpayer-funded catch-22, and we’re all tied up in it like a Gordian knot. If I chose to leave and go back to the
Philippines, then I’d face a ten-year ban on reentry into the U.S., since I’ve
been living illegally in the U.S. for twenty-five years. And even if I returned to my country of
birth, there’s no guarantee I’d ever be allowed back to the country I call my
home. Put simply, for the government,
keeping people “illegal” is much easier than allowing them to get “legal.” Perhaps it’s no accident that the ITIN, which
allows undocumented workers to pay federal taxes, was created in 1996.
-
page 210
Book 3
Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam M. Grant Ph.D. ©
2013.
I found this book unsettling. I think it ignored some of the
non-personality things that stand in the way of a career, such as sexism and
racism, or just plain bad luck. And the notion of writing a book that says
that the way to get ahead in business is by giving of yourself, but it only
works if you are not doing it for the purpose of getting ahead in business – oy. It also seemed to me that in order to have
space to be a giver you have to already be in a place of privilege, with some
savings stored up while you are waiting for giving to pay off (but it only
works if you are not doing it in order to get a payoff). What would Jesus do?
Book 4
The Inn at Lake Devine by Elinor
Lipman © 1998.
My second reading. Read for book club. I love the witty, snarky writing of Elinor
Lipman. The book club was going to pick
Solzhenitsyn’s One Day in the Life of
Ivan Denisovich, but then we decided couldn’t handle reading about a Soviet
labor camp right now. We needed
something lighter. This fit the bill and
brought on some joyful reminiscences.
![]() |
| A staff unfavorite, and a rebuttal |
![]() |
| A staff unfavorite |
Tuesday, August 20, 2019
Jubilate with Cake
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| Going Gray by Elise Neill On display at our township's first ever Recyclable Art Show |
In the third week of the eighth month, there
shall be a celebration. And though it is not a celebration you particularly
want, as you need no reminders that you are getting older, thus shall the Lord
command:
Thou shalt eat of cake, provided by the
Common Household Husband, and there shall be some cake saved for him, even as
he is only meant to eat of jello in his current state. Thou shalt not bring him
any bagels.
Thou shalt enjoy presents, possibly including
sticky notes, and thou shalt wonder whether your daughter actually finished
cleaning up her room yet, as you did really want that her to find that shirt
that she bought from bell choir, where they make a joyous and very loud noise.
Thou shalt be thankful that you have the
option of getting one year older, lo, as opposed to disintegrating into dust as
your children often remind you you shall. Thou shalt remind thyself that the
birthday celebration is as much for others as for thyself, as demonstrated by
the male progeny returning to the house of his parents, for this birthday is
just as much about allowing others to eat of cake as it is for thyself to eat
of cake.
And lastly, thou shalt not regret not having
time to make a pie. For having a husband in the hospital is hard enough,
without having to think about baking anything for a while.
-
The Book of Jubilations 9:1-14
This
ancient passage was revealed this week by Younger Daughter. For my birthday she presented me with a
twenty-page tome entitled The Common
Household Bible. This venerable
volume consisted of my scripturish blog posts, interspersed with holy writings
(newly revealed to Younger Daughter as she sat in her cave-room) pertaining to
the Common Household, the passage above being just one example.
This
is a work of love and I love it. It
provided much levity during a week which was difficult, not only for national
news (which is always difficult these days), but also because of the Common
Household Husband’s quite brief stay in the hospital. (Please do not tell my mother he was in the hospital.) He is out of the hospital and doing fine.
The
cake was chocolate with chocolate frosting and raspberry filling. And then there was another chocolate cake with
chocolate frosting at book club. Jubilation!
Labels:
aging,
Cake,
good,
guest post,
joy,
scripturish
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