Beverages of the Apocalpyse

This excellent basket included some
beautiful hand-knitted items, including
that red Norwegian-style resistance hat.

I am now stocked up on Beverages of the Apocalypse.  We won a basket at a recent event, which included a whole bunch of hot chocolate packets.  When I make hot chocolate, I usually make it by heating milk in the microwave and adding dark cocoa and sugar.  But the microwave just broke, so the packets are welcome.  And I just re-ordered a bunch of tea and chocolate from Equal Exchange.  

A recent phone conversation with Younger Daughter:

Me:  Did you hear about the meteor that was over Ohio?  K saw it!

Younger Daughter:  You know, we’ve had a lot of signs of The Apocalypse lately.  In the past few years we’ve had an eclipse, a plague, and now a meteor.  Am I wrong?

Me: We’ve also had a giant wind storm (last year and this year), power outages that lasted a long time, and yet another windstorm, followed by snow.

YD:Yes, we had a lot of snow and cold this winter. 

Me: AND the microwave broke.

YD: Are you ready to be raptured yet?

Me: “Take me away, Calgon!”

YD: I don’t know who Calgon is.

- - - - - - - 

The correct phrase from the commercials of my childhood is “Calgon, take me away!”  

The fact that I still remember this phrase proves the efficacy of advertising slogans.  The reminiscence led me down a rabbit hole, courtesy of Youtube, which revealed the changing portrayal of stresses in US (white) women’s lives. 

In the 1960s, the ad slogan was “Calgon Bouquet: nicest thing that’s happened to you since him.”  The woman is defined by her service to others - the husband and the children.  The ad is narrated entirely by a male voice.

In 1977 the commercial for Calgon has “the dog, the telephone, the children, the doorbell” as the stresses in the woman’s life.  The woman is still anchored to a life solely at home.  The ad starts with a male voice narrating, but the woman has one line, the famous “Calgon, take me away!”  The scene shifts to a ludicrously giant bathtub in a room with huge windows (no curtains!) for the enjoyment of the bubble bath.

By 1979 the woman now obviously has a job outside the home.  The stresses are: traffic, the male boss yelling, and then at home – the baby and the dog.  A microcosm of the economy which had (white) women joining the work force but also still responsible for most of home life.  Calgon takes her away to the same kind of bathing area with a ridiculous number of 3-story-high pillars.

In the 1980s the commercial is much shorter. By now all of American knows the schtick and all the woman has to say is the one famous line.  The bathroom scene is not shown in a wide angle.  

The internet shows no evidence that Calgon commercials ever featured a person of color. 

The fact that the next generation knows nothing of Calgon taking us away surely means that the Apocalypse is on its way. How about you, dear reader, what would be your favorite Beverage of the Apocalypse?

If there is going to be an Apocalypse,
I will need Peach schapps.