Prayers on Thanksgiving Day

Prayers uttered on Thanksgiving Day by the Common Household Mom

O God of Mercy,

Please grant me your merciful permission to cook the turkey with the neck inside. 

Alas, my sinful ways have caused me to start defrosting the turkey only 6 days ahead of time.  In my human hubris, I had imagined this to be enough time to fully defrost the 14-pound turkey, but I did not take into account that the temperature in the back of the fridge is less than at the front.  My human pride in this caused there to be a coating of ice in the regions in which an underpaid and overworked assembly line worker stuffed in the bag of giblets and the other end in which a same such worker stuffed the neck. 

Grant me the wisdom and fortitude to spend extra huge amounts of money on a fresh turkey next year.  But this is only assuming that I can request the giblets and the neck on the side, instead of in. 

Amen.

* * * * *

O Lord,

Forgive me for secretly reacting with disdain when my husband appeared at 10 AM (only after my struggle with the giblets), looked in the refrigerator, and said, “There’s nothing to eat in here.”

Amen.

* * * * *

God of Providence,

Thank you for providing us with the bounty of a working clothes washer and dryer.  We praise you for your continued upholding of the plumbing.  We are reminded of this scripturish passage:

And they shall descend upon your household as grasshoppers for multitude,  heavy laden with all manner of soiled clothing;

they shall approach with laundry bags overflowing.

And day by day for the entire Thanksgiving weekend shall the washer be in use.

Woe be unto you mothers and fathers who did not have the wisdom and foresight to finish your own laundry before your offspring arrived.

                                    The Book of Admonitions 10: 2-5

Amen.

* * * * *

 As always, Lord, thank you for pie.

Amen.