Three Domestic Scenes

Our first scene is at the Common Household breakfast table, a few weeks ago.

Common Household Husband, reading newspaper out loud:  “Vatican rabbis affirm faith.”

Me:  What?!  There are rabbis in the Vatican?!

Husband:  That’s what the headline says.

(He shows me this headline.  Oh, the importance of a comma.)

* * * * *

Our next household scene is few days later, at dinner. Reading the newspaper is usually a breakfast activity, but in this case the Common Household Husband was reading it after dinner. 

Husband:  Ah. They are going to change the person on the ten dollar bill.  Who will be the first woman on U.S. currency?*  Who would I pick?  Let’s see… Carol Burnett.  Or how about Golda Meir.  She would be good on the ten dollar bill.

Me:   Golda Meir wasn’t even a U.S. citizen.

Husband:  So?  Who says that it has to be a U.S. citizen? . . .  Okay, how about Martha Washington.  Or – this would be great!  The Pope!

Younger Daughter:  Dad, the Pope is not a woman.

Husband: But he wears a dress.  The slogan could be “Have a Pope in Your Pocket!”… Or how about if we put a famous dog on the ten dollar bill?

YD:  Women!  We’re talking about women on the currency!

Husband:   Lassie, a symbol of wholesome goodness.

YD, getting worked up: Rosa Parks! Amelia Earhart! Eleanor Roosevelt!

Husband:   Eleanor Roosevelt? What did she ever do?

YD, fuming:  She was the most active first lady ever!

Husband:   What did she do?

YD:  I forget, but she did a lot.   Or how about Ida B. Wells!

Me:  I think it should be Harriet Tubman.

YD:  Yeah, Harriet Tubman!  Or Sacagawea.

* I think it will not be the first woman on US currency.  Haven’t we already had Susan B. Anthony and Sacagawea on dollar coins?  But it will likely be the first woman on paper currency.  In other words, worth more than a dollar.

* * * * *

  

Our final scene is at dinner this past Sunday night, upon my return home.

Husband:     Carolyn, tell us about the fish you ate while you were in Canada.

Me:    Well, the first night I had smoked halibut.  And then the next night I had fish tacos made with haddock.

YD:  What else did you do while you were there?

Son: There was a funeral!  She didn't go to Canada just for the halibut.

. . .

We were discussing the hazards of birds flying into airplanes.

Son: You know, when they are testing aircraft, they fire chickens at the aircraft from a cannon.

Me:  WHY would they fire chickens at an aircraft?!

Husband:  To prepare them for fowl weather.