Theological Cleaning thoughts

Today was the day to clean the master bathroom.  I often think theological thoughts while cleaning the bathroom.  Who doesn’t?  First I redeemed the time by praying earnestly for several friends and family members who are going through troubles and rough spots far more difficult than cleaning the bathroom. And the people in Haiti who still don’t have access to a proper bathroom.  And friends and family who aren’t going through tough times.  I asked for God’s blessing on all of them.

Insert historical gratitude pause here:  gratitude for the people who invented indoor plumbing, and flush toilets in particular.  This invention may have done more to further civilization than anything else.  And that is all I am going to say about toilets.

So while I was sanctifying the shower stall walls, I prayed intercessorily.  I want to add that I do pray for y’all at many other times, not just while cleaning the bathroom.  This was prayer and bathroom sanctification double-tasking, which should be biblically okay, since it says somewhere in there “pray continually.”    

Long-time readers of this blog, of which there is only one, will note that the last time the bathroom on this blog was cleaned was November 1, 2008.  No comment.

One thing I dislike about cleaning the shower stall is that I get wet.  I’m on the tall side of “petite,” which here does not mean cute, small and pixie-like, but short, middle-aged, and wide.  I have to reach way up to scrub the higher parts of the shower stall, and the water always drips down my arms.  Blech. Then while scrubbing the floor of the shower, inevitably my pants knees get wet.  The only solution I can think of would be to clean in my skivvies, but I don’t even know what skivvies are, and besides, I like having some fabric between my bare knees and the scum.  We must be in the scum, but not of it.

Then as I scrubbed the bathroom floor, I thought that I should do a biblical study on hair.  Our bathroom floor accumulates a lot of it, for some reason.  I think it comes in through the air vents from the nearby llama farm*.  Surely Lent is an appropriate time to study hair in the Bible, with everybody wearing their hair shirts for repentance.

On second thought, I think I’d better go do some real repenting.  It’s time to fill out my tax return.  Which is the real reason I was cleaning the bathroom – it’s much preferable to filling out the tax return.

* about 120 miles away.

Snowstorms, Chapter 287: In Which the Common Household Mom Does Battle with A Wicked Icicle

A wicked icicle hung over our front door, threatening all who wished to cross our threshold, posing danger to the innocent soul who ventured out to get the mail, beckoning a lawsuit from passing UPS delivery persons. 

So, using the Wicked Icicle Removal Tool (WIRT), pictured here, I, original pioneer housewife, decided to remove the wicked icicle.  Waiting until the other Common Household members left for work and school so that I would not make a fool of myself in front of them, I carried the WIRT from the garage up through the house.  Amazingly, I poked not a single hole in the wall of the basement, kitchen, den, or front hallway. 

Astute readers will ask why I did not carry the WIRT around the outside of the house, where there are no walls to poke.  And I answer: it is because I was too lazy to put on my snow pants and high boots to wade through the 24+ inches of snow surrounding the house. And I was too lazy to walk all the way out to the street and then down the front walk carrying the WIRT.

The WIRT seemed to have an adequate reach, but a wobbly aim.  I waved the WIRT around in the air near the house.  Eventually I developed enough skill to get the WIRT to wobble across the icicles. The Wicked Icicle made a satisfying sound as it crashed to the snow-ice covered front walk.  Aha!  Its sharp tip could no longer threaten to impale residents and visitors passing through our front door.

But my success was not complete.  I had managed to only knock down half of this mammoth icicle.  Its blunt stump remains there, taunting me still.  It now silently waits for its chance to cause a concussion.

Astute readers, upon closely examining the photographs, will again ask astute questions: why did the Common Household Mom not just open the window and break off the icicle from inside the pleasant warmth of the house?  Because.  My husband warned me in no uncertain terms not to open the window. The window well has become flooded with ice and can’t be opened without risking ripping out parts of the window frame.

If you come to visit, maybe you should come in the back door.

Spellbound, or Because the Salt Truck Has Not Come Yet

Spellbound       by Emily Brontë

The night is darkening round me,

The wild winds coldly blow;

But a tyrant spell has bound me

And I cannot, cannot go.

The giant trees are bending

Their bare boughs weighed with snow.

And the storm is fast descending,

And yet I cannot go.

Clouds beyond clouds above me,

Wastes beyond wastes below;

But nothing drear can move me;

I will not, cannot go.

Cabin Fever setting in already

Common Household Dad to our 10-year-old:  "Don't you have homework to do?"

10-year-old:  "Like there's gonna be school tomorrow." (with sarcastic smirk)

Where's the street?

We have since found the street, because the nice man in the snowplow came.  But yesterday the street completely disappeared:

We got a total of 24 inches, as measured on our deck, where the snow does not really blow in drifts.  Synagogue was cancelled, church was cancelled, and, wonder of wonders, now school is cancelled for Monday!

Update:  school is cancelled, but the musical rehearsal is not.  The show must go on, says Mr. P.

Dear Mr. P.

Mr. P,

I appreciate your desire to have the students rehearse for the musical as much as possible.  But I need to point out that the school district web site announced today at 11:15 am that ALL after-school activities were cancelled today.   Because you decided to countermand that decision and hold the rehearsal for the musical anyway, now I must go out in a snowstorm to fetch my kids, at the same time as I am supposed to meet the elementary school bus.  This is, at the least, a great inconvenience to me, and at the worst, a risk to my kids.  Next time, please reconsider making a decision that disregards the official school district decision.

Sincerely,

Common Household Mom

* * * * * * * * *

Okay, maybe this should be considered a minor annoyance.  I didn't have to deal with an earthquake, a flood, or head lice today.  And Dear Husband came home in time to save me from having to drive in the snow to get the kids.  But Dear Husband did drive right onto the  neighbor's lawn because the car skidded when he went around the corner.  He is used to driving in the snow, and he said it was treacherous.


It's now been snowing steadily for about 2 hours.  We have about 3 inches, but there has been no salt truck since before it started.  Here's what our street looks like.