On the menu

I am outta here!  I am retreating for the weekend to my church’s annual women’s retreat.  There is a winter storm scheduled to start late tonight, into tomorrow morning, but I plan to get out of town before the storm hits.

Last night at dinner we had this conversation in preparation for the survival of the rest of the family, while I am gone.

Common Household Husband:  What should we have to eat while Mom is away?

Son: Obviously, we need Ho-hos, Doritos, nutter-butters...

Husband:  What about the main course?

Youngest Daughter:  Your hamburgers!

Son:  We could have Twinkies, but they’re going out of business.

YD:  Your hamburgers, Dad!

Son:  How about Cheese Whiz?

Husband:  I don’t think I’ve ever had Cheese Whiz.  Where I grew up, they have Hickory Farms. There’s nothing like a Hickory Farms port wine cheese ball! ... So, what do you want for the main course?

Son:  How about Chicken Parmesan?

Husband:  (glares at son, because Husband does not want to cook this weekend, and doesn’t know where to buy Chicken Parmesan)

YD: Do you mean Parmesan Chicken?

I am hoping, for the pizza delivery person’s sake, that the Wintry Mix is all over with by the time the Common Household wants its dinner Saturday night.  And it’s too bad that Hostess Brands couldn’t have held off on the bankruptcy, because purchases of their products will likely increase this weekend.

If you were away for the weekend, what would your household eat?