Mal de débarquement syndrome (MdDS)

The Inside Passage is relatively calm water.
This is the churniest it got.

It feels like I’m still on the cruise ship. We left the ship weeks ago.

I thought it would be worthwhile writing about my condition, because it’s so strange and rare.  Maybe someone else experiencing this syndrome will find this post and know they are not alone.

The symptoms

Most people, when they get off a ship, feel the simulation of the boat rocking for a few minutes or hours, and then the feeling goes away.  They get their land legs.  We got off the boat the morning of Aug 3rd, and by evening I still had the swaying feeling.  Oddly, though, I did not feel the rocking motion when I was on the bus to the hotel.  I also didn’t notice it when we were on the plane flight home.  And I drove us home from the airport without giving it a thought.

Now, nearly seven weeks later, I still have sea legs, or perhaps more accurately, sea brain. Just sitting in my chair now, it feels as if I am bobbing up and down.  Or if I get up to walk, it feels like things are swaying side to side.  If I stand with my feet close together and close my eyes, it’s a recipe for feeling off balance completely.

But if I’m in a moving vehicle, I don’t feel the sensation at all.  Even though the moving vehicle is a car that is not rocking from side to side.

If I concentrate very hard on a task, I don’t notice the feeling as much, which suggests to me that it is a brain condition.  We’ll see if I can teach new tricks to my old dog of a brain.

Enemy of enjoyment while boating: fog.
Enemy of enjoyment after boating: MdDS.

The diagnosis and correlations

The vestibular therapist, whom I shall call Irene because she is so peaceful and calm, diagnosed me with mal de débarquement syndrome (MdDS).  (She did the maneuver on me with the infrared ocular device and turning my head, to rule out BPPV, which I have experienced many times before.)  

Mal de débarquement means “the illness of getting off the boat” or, the darker interpretation I prefer, “the evil of leaving the cruise”.  As a former French major, I delight in saying débarquement as Frenchified as I can, “DAY-bar-que-MAHN” but that is about the only delight I find.  Americans, including VT Irene, say “dee- BARK- ment.”

VT Irene said my condition is caused by a mismatch between my brain and my ocular and vestibular something-or-other.  In short, my brain can’t believe my eyes nor my inner ear.  

This condition may be more prevalent in people who get frequent migraines, which I get only occasionally (one every few months), which starts with a visual aura, followed by a headache, but not an excruciating one.  Last week, though, I experienced two of those visual auras in one afternoon.  Maybe VT Irene also mentioned a correlation with anxiety, which I have but not officially diagnosed, and not treated by drugs. I also have acrophobia, which is defined as an unreasonable fear of heights.  

I feel that anxiety and fear of heights are reasonable in these interesting times.

Our cabin was on Deck 11.  I did not look down.

The treatment

VT Irene said that there is no for-certain immediate cure.  

She encouraged me to try the dai protocol stripes exercise of watching a video of stripes moving one direction (video available for either direction!), while tilting my head slowly from right to left and back again.  For 5 minutes.  I’ve tried it once a day for a few weeks (missing a few days when we had visitors) but it has not measurably changed my plight.  I probably haven’t done it enough. Blah.  It’s very boring.

VT Irene also has me doing exercises involving looking to the right and left (or up and down) rapidly, including while walking. I discovered that the Big Box store at about 9:30 AM is an excellent place to try this.  I have the shopping cart to hang on to.  Consumer traffic is light at that time.  The aisles are really long.  If you see a woman walking her shopping cart down the aisle looking rapidly right to left, that’s me, pretending to look for the kitchen tools aisle but surreptitiously doing vestibularity.

A few things have temporarily helped:

- driving the car.  Seems to also be ok as a passenger.  (However, perhaps sometime I will write another post about my BsDS = back seat driverism syndrome).  At today’s gas prices, this is not a viable solution.  The MdDS returns as soon as I get out of the car.

- walking while holding 3-pound weights in both hands, with my arms by my sides.  This was one of the V.T. exercises.

- walking while imagining holding 3-pound weights in both hands, with my arms by my sides.  See, it’s all about retraining the brain.

- sitting down, concentrating on a task.

Probably traveling by train or plane would also relieve the symptoms temporarily.

No idea if canoe travel would relieve symptoms.

No amusement park rides for me!

The life

In my life, I have not usually suffered from motion sickness.  Thankfully and amazingly, the MdDS has not made me nauseous.  But it does make me reluctant to walk by myself, for fear I will fall down or look drunk to the other humans.  My walking feels worse to me than it looks to others, friends tell me.  I have not fallen, but occasionally flail my arms around to regain balance.  And MdDS has made me very frustrated.

I’m afraid when walking through crowds, as I did last week at the high school football game, that someone will bump into me and I will crumble.  The MdDS limits my motivation to do my other therapy exercises, for the sciatica.

One of the electeds I am campaigning for.

I have decided to just go on with my life, which right now includes knocking on doors to talk to voters.  It’s for my mental health more than anything else.  When I’m door knocking, the MdDS is not quite as bad, as I’m concentrating on a higher purpose, so I manage to somewhat ignore this unwanted companion.

I’m already prone to vestibular issues, with many occurrences of benign paroxysmal positional vertigo, sadly not a French ailment.  And I had one horrid episode in June 2025 which sent me to the ER; afterward the ENT doc said that was not BPPV but something else vestibular, the cause never firmly determined.   Despite my regular inner ear ailments, I never imagined this MdDS condition would be the long-lasting outcome of our marvelous cruise along the Inside Passage of Alaska.  I talked to plenty of experienced cruise-goers before our trip and not a one mentioned this as a possibility.

The brain in the train or airplane feels mainly on a flat plane. 

Make it so.

St Michael's, Annapolis, Maryland.

NIH article for those interested. I haven't read the whole thing.

The Merry Month of May

Lilac, May 2009.

May was a washout for writing.  I have a full life, even if it is currently fraught with facing fascism.  Here’s what was going on, which pulled me away from writing.

Health stuff

• Signed up for Medicare.  Thankfully this did not require any decision-making at this time.

• Outpatient “surgery” – diagnostic d&c, so not really any slicing and dicing – lab results were negative which is a big positive.  Recovery was smooth.  The most noticeable effect was a Toddler-in-Chief-sized bruise on my hand.

• Went to walk on the treadmill (before sciatica) and discovered it is broken.  I had been using the treadmill only about once or twice a month, for about 15 minutes at a time.  “Better than nothing!” I proclaim to the imaginary scolding doctor in my head.

But then toward the end of the month I ruined my health with…

Counterproductive physical activity

• Scrubbed every surface in the shower - mild sciatica.

• Two days, back to back, of massively intensive gardening, with the result of agonizing sciatica.  I planted eight types of perennials, and three kinds of annuals.

French horn pathways

Music

• Community Symphonic Band Concert - my son is in this band.  It’s always enjoyable.  And not very costly!

• River City Brass Band - phenomenal and very loud professional performing group.

• Church choir - we sang on Pentecost.

Activism and Civic Duty

• Church anti-racism team meeting

• Two School Board meetings (I try to attend every meeting, just to listen)

• Political meeting.  Whenever I say this, it reminds me of Gone With the Wind, when the men-folk have a “political meeting” to do violent racist stuff.  My political meeting is the opposite of that, and is not secret.

• Monthly informal gathering of politically like-minded people with no agenda.

• Staffing the political party tent at the County Election Satellite Office, nearby.

• Contacted my elected officials 17 times, mostly by phone.  Irate screed: 8 to Senator Bitcoin, 5 to Senator Failure.  Expressions of gratitude: 4 to my actually useful US Rep.

• Corresponded with voters in my precinct who had questions about the upcoming election.

• Town Council meeting (I just attended to listen.  Can’t usually make it to these meetings.)

• Election officer - a 15-hour work day of boredom on Election Day to ensure that everyone can vote.  Turnout was especially low this time, but the silver lining was that my party’s turnout exceeded the other’s turnout, even though there were no contested seats for my party and several contested seats for Party 2.

• Won my (uncontested) seat on the Party Committee.  Thank you, voters.

• Compiling and examining election data after our local primary election.

• Garden Party event at a local LGBTQ+ organization we wanted to find out more about.  We were impressed and will be supporting them as best we can.

• Township event recognizing veterans and first responders.  It should have included some kind of honoring for Memorial Day, but the event speakers only obliquely mentioned those who gave the ultimate sacrifice.  I don’t have the bandwidth to issue a criticism to the township for this. 

• Attended two local sidewalk rallies to object to all the crap dished out by the Orange Menace & his sycophants.

• A total of 76.5 hours of political/civic duty activity during May.  Oof.

Spiritual and Intellectual endeavors

• Church - weekly worship, a board meeting, a nominating committee meeting (I am practically useless on this committee)

• Synagogue - attended worship service recognizing our friends’ wedding anniversary

• Two book clubs

Family & household stuff

• Closed a bank account that was no longer needed.  It was this trip to the bank that showed me the sciatica was unmanageable.  I could barely drive home for the pain.

• Visited family in Ohio.

• 62 hours of paid work.

What were you up to in May, Dear Reader?

First Lines: March 2026 edition

My mother reading Richard Scarry to my father.

Below are the first lines of the 9 short books I finished reading in March.  Some political, some fun and one absolute fluff, all under 300 pages.  I read the non-fiction books too fast, which reduced my retention.

 

 

Book 1

In 1776, fifty-six men risked their lives to defy the British and sign their names to the Declaration of Independence, but most Americans can’t name more than a handful.

 

 

Book 2

Sister Bernadette Ohlson anticipated her annual vacation with her best friend more than any other event all year, but before she could leave The Abbey: Senior Living, she had to complete the to-do list she’d written on the back of an old envelope.

 

 

Book 3

Who Wants to Read a Sermon?

When I first read the Gospel of Matthew–I must have been about thirteen or fourteen–I didn’t have much interest in the Sermon on the Mount.

 

 

Book 4

The Rescue

Nancy Drew, an attractive girl of eighteen, was driving home along a country road in her new, dark-blue convertible.  She had just delivered some legal papers for her father.

 

Book 5

Introduction: Crisis Conditions Require Bold Tactics

The contemporary political moment is defined by emergency.  Acute crises, like the COVID-19 pandemic and climate change-induced fires, floods, and storms, as well as the ongoing crises of racist criminalization, brutal immigration enforcement, endemic gender violence, and severe wealth inequality, threaten the survival of people around the globe.

Book 6

My attention was drawn to the spots on my chest when I was in my bath, singing, if I remember rightly, the Toreador song from the opera Carmen.

Of all my photos of bathtubs, this scene
is the most likely to be in a book with this character.

 

Book 7

The children did not like it that Marta was unhappy.

“Well, she chose to come, didn't she?” said Janet.

“Haven’t you ever chosen to do something and not liked it at all?” asked Father, and Janet had to admit she had.  Gregory had not.

 

Book 8

July 21

107 Days to the Election

“Auntie!  Auntie!”

A small fist rapped gently on my bedroom door.

 

Book 9

Welcome:  I’m SO Glad You Picked Up this Book!
I’m guessing you did so because you're looking for a way of making a difference that fits in your life. 

Did not finish 1

I remember, in no particular order:

- a shiny inner wrist;

- steam rising from a wet sink as a hot frying pan is laughingly tossed into it;

Did not finish 2

She did not call her mother Mom or Mommy or even Mother.

 

The titles and authors revealed:

My favorites were Book 2 and Book 7.  Book 6 was the fluff.  

 

Book 1

Signing Their Lives Away: The Fame and Misfortune of the Men Who Signed the Declaration of Independence

By Denise Kiernan with Joseph D'Agnese

256 pages •  first pub 2019 

nonfiction history informative

The only reason I got this book (on Libby, kindle version, from the library) is because David McCullough’s book 1776 would require waiting and I wanted a big selection of books to read, right now, while traveling on the weekend.

It would work well to read this book in snippets.  Each section represents one of the thirteen colonies and the chapters are quite short, each one about one of the signers.

 

Book 2

A Fatal Habit (Nun the Wiser Mysteries #3)

By Melissa Westemeier

289 pages • first pub 2026

fiction mystery

(purchased for my kindle)

A yarn well told and thoroughly enjoyable to read.  The characters are well-portrayed and I found the subplots interesting.  Loads of tea drinking, which I always appreciate, especially when it was served up by the police in an effort to calm a character.  The premise was unique, and also served as a sincere recognition of graphic novel/comic book artists.  I applaud the author’s bold decision to move the setting for this third one in the series.  It was good to have the friends of AJ, a fresh set of characters, developed.

At one point in my reading, I said to my husband with eager anticipation, “There is about to be an exciting yet gentle chase through a hotel with a retired nun!”  In response my husband thought of how a chase scene would go in a retirement home.  He set up a whole scenario with a phalanx of elderly people barging down the retirement center hallway, rollators assisting, at 0.00001 mph.  At the last moment, an outlaw elderly resident sticks out his cane, the rollators and their owners tumble, snowballing down the hall in slow motion.  That didn’t happen in the book; the chase was in fact swift and stirring.

The villain was suitably villainous.  What we need in these times is for a heinous villain to be brought down fully, and shamed to the utmost.  This book delivers (but without gore or congressional action).  Oh, how we long for the same outcome to be delivered to certain public figures.

I have to love a book that references David Tennant.  

 

 

Book 3

Sermon on the Mount: A Beginner's Guide to the Kingdom of Heaven

By Amy-Jill Levine

160 pages • first pub 2020

Nonfiction informative reflective slow-paced

Reading it for a Lenten study.  Healing.  I swear, every time I opened this book and started reading, it was the literary equivalent of a soothing cup of tea.

 

 

Book 4

The Secret of the Old Clock (Nancy Drew Mystery Stories #1)

Carolyn Keene 

210 pages • first pub 1930  

fiction middle-grade mystery lighthearted mysterious fast-paced

I read lots of Nancy Drew books in my youth, but I had no recollection of the plot for this one. Ah, the joys of a forgetful mind.   The book is rather repetitive–the reader is reminded numerous times how beneficial the inheritance will be for various people Nancy befriends.  The jaded adult reader begins to wonder if Nancy herself is responsible for the death of the benefactor.  But this book contains no murder or gory brutality.  Nancy is a goody-two-shoes, as any 18-year-old girl (as she is referred to in this book) should be portrayed in 1930 (or 1959, which is actually the revision date).  She rushes around doing good deeds, including apparently working for her lawyer father without pay.  Her perfect choice in clothing is frequently described.  

Once a key object is found, the plot moves forward quickly.

As a girl (long before I got my driver’s license), I do remember being astonished that Nancy Drew had her own car.  In the versions I read, it was called a “roadster”, if memory serves.  But that word was not used in this version.  I admired the freedom her car gave her.

I enjoyed reading it – goodness triumphs in the end, the greedy people get their comeuppance, and, in an excellent marketing ploy, the next book is introduced.  Sometimes when reading a book written long ago, unwanted things like racism and antisemitism rear their ugly heads.  I saw none of that, and Wikipedia confirms that later versions removed racial stereotypes. Supposedly I read the “80th Anniversary Edition,” which I got from the library on kindle, but the internet advises that the version with Nancy as an 18-year old is the 1959 revised version.  

Nancy Drew and her father reside in a fictional town with no clear geographical location, except for one mention of the Muskoka River, which the internet locates in Canada.  The possibility of Nancy Drew there enhances my opinion of Canada.  But the internet also rules that Nancy Drew’s location is somewhere in the Midwestern US.

And that is enough about that.

 

 

Book 5

Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity During This Crisis (and the Next)

By Dean Spade

152 pages • first pub 2020 (I read the 2026 edition)

nonfiction politics sociology

The preface is 38 pages long!

The author is emphatically anti-capitalism.  I thought this was going to be a book describing how successful mutual aid efforts were built and sustained, but there were no details on that.  Plenty of admonishment on how not to have your mutual aid effort sink into serving capitalism.  The last chapter had some useful stuff on the psychology of groups and good practices to follow to avoid pitfalls of working in groups.  

 

 

Book 6

Aunts Aren’t Gentlemen

By P.G. Wodehouse

167 pages • first pub 1974

fiction classics

The plot is enjoyably the same as any Jeeves & Wooster volume:  B. Wooster successfully avoids marrying an overbearing woman, and narrowly escapes being thrashed by threatening muscular men.  The outcome for Aunt Dahlia is positive.  Oblique mentions but no appearance of Aunt Agatha in this one.

This was the last book Wodehouse published before his death in 1975 at the age of 93.   

I read the hardback version, borrowed from the library.

 

Book 7

The Kitchen Madonna

By Rumer Godden, Illustrated by Carol Barker

89 pages • 1967

fiction children's classics

Lovely! A calm story of children making an extra effort to help an immigrant feel more at home in her adopted residence. The children are changed by their experience.  I was glad I read this in physical format.  There were just a handful of  illustrations, beautifully done in a stylized manner appropriate for a book about an icon.  Recommended by Swistle in this blog post.

Looking into this book informed me that there is a booktube phenomenon called Middle-Grade March.  In which adults read at least one middle-grade book.  I have now fulfilled that illustrious goal.

Not exactly an icon.
A mosaic of Mary, from Scotland
in the Church of the Annunciation,
Israel

 

Book 8

107 Days

Kamala Harris

304 pages • first pub 2025

nonfiction history memoir politics

It was bittersweet to read this.  This woman would have made a very fine president.

Overall, the book is thin on details, but I do not fault her for not providing them.  I guess a deeper book is for historians to write.

The frantic pace of the campaign seems impossible.  It’s ludicrous to think that a presidential campaign in the 21st century in a nation of 340+ million people could be pulled together in 107 days.  Ms. Harris tried. I fault Joe Biden’s hubris (though he is humble in other respects) and his advisors’ hubris.  If I recall correctly, he promised that he would serve just one term as POTUS.  He was certainly an effective president (one major exception was Gaza/Israel), but should have not pushed Harris off to the side.  He should have said definitively in 2022 or before that he would not run for re-election.  

She had 16 days to pick a Vice Presidential nominee.

To hear Kamala tell it, Joe Biden was not much help and was sometimes a hindrance to her campaign.

The chapter titles have a confusing error, at least in the Kindle version.  

The first chapter is called “July 21: 107 Days to the Election.”

The second chapter is “July 27: 131 Days to the Election.”  What is this time travel?

I puzzled mightily over this until I did the calendar math:  Nov 5, 2024 minus 131 days = June 27th.  It’s a bad typo.  

 

We tried.

 

Book 9

Micro Activism: How You Can Make a Difference in the World Without a Bullhorn

By Omkari Williams

176 pages • first pub 2023

nonfiction feminism politics race

This short book was more applicable to my situation than Mutual Aid.  The main takeaway for me is that limiting activism to just one or two issues can make an activist more effective.  For the past 9 years I have not been following that advice. 

Did not finish 1

The Sense of an Ending

By Julian Barnes

150 pages • first pub 2011

fiction contemporary literary

Borrowed from NPL; due on March 31st.

I read halfway through it, but decided I simply did not like any of the characters.  I suppose the writing is brilliant but I just was not in the mood for it.  Content warning: suicide.

Did not finish 2

The Paris Novel by Ruth Reichl

288 pages •2024

fiction historical

Stopped at page 15.  Pedophilia.  I can’t read about that.  This one was for book club.

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What's in your reading stack these days?