Sunday, October 29, 2017

What do empty nesters think about?

In this Common Empty Nest Household, it is just my husband and I now.  Often our thoughts turn to…. food and drink, of course.

Husband, about the casino:  Their desserts aren’t very good.  I know, because I’ve tried them all.

Husband:  When we get a new refrigerator I would like to get one with ice replication technology.

Me: The grocery store has replaced the deodorant section with wine.
Husband:  Well, that seems very French.

Husband:  There are only two kinds of bagels here.  This is not America.

Husband was reading an article in the newspaper about the overabundance of Asian carp.
Husband:  If there are so many carp, why doesn’t the price of gefilte fish come down?  There’s collusion!  There’s collusion in the gefilte fish industry.  There should be an investigation…. You think I’m kidding.

* * * * * * * * *
On that note, I must reveal to you this brilliant limerick, cribbed from NPR’s September 23rd episode of “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me!  In this radio game show, the contestant is supposed to fill in the final word of the limerick.

Bill Kurtis:
“This jar is my Jewish old realtor’s wish
It’s a gourmet, fine smoked-to-the-filter dish.
Beige dumplings of pike
Will get a price hike
We’re selling some high end ________”

Contestant:  “Gross disgusting fish.”

Peter Sagal:  I’ll give it to you!  You’re right!  Although technically, it’s called ‘gefilte fish’. Just in time for the Jewish High Holy Days, it's artisanal gefilte fish. If you're unfamiliar with this delic-atrocity, gefilte fish is an appetizer traditionally prepared by a rabbi with a cold who puts a piece of pike or carp in his mouth and then sneezes it out through his nose into a Manischewitz jar.

You’re welcome.  Now you may go eat.

Post-script:  I do believe that this limerick represents the only time in human history that ‘gefilte fish’ has ever been rhymed. 


Suburban Correspondent said...

I heard that show! I was very pleased Peter Sagal gave the point.

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

The limerick is funny and Peter Segal's wrap-up was hilarious. You're doing better with the empty nester discussions than we are (although we're not technically empty nesters since the 18yo does still live here and his 25yo brother won't move out).
I alternate between loving my husband (he helped me get to my plane on time and picked me up again 4 days later) and wanting to yell at him (he unhelpfully took things (future gifts) out of the bags in which they were hiding in plain sight on MY craft table. And he put my stack of CDs that I had gathered together for a roadtrip and put them "away" in the DVD drawer... it took me 15 minutes to find them.) Retirement is so fun...

Patience_Crabstick said...

Another new empty nester here! I'm mostly thinking about how I can rearrange my house to suit our new childless lifestyle!

Bibliomama said...

You guys are FUNNY! My son is in his last year of high school. I went away to school. My sister went away to school. I always assumed my kids would go away to school. It's natural! It's growth! It's beneficial! Now that we're up against it, I am whiny and bitter like you would not believe. It's not an attractive side of me. I can't even console myself with the fact that my nest will have less baseball crap strewn all over it. Sigh.