For some time, my husband and son had been pining for cake. Numerous times in April, the Common Household Husband was heard sighing, “I don’t suppose anybody made any cake this evening.” Son was the same, saying, “Did I hear someone say there was cake?”
My response was always, “No, there is no cake. I did not have time to make any cake.”
One day a few weeks ago, my husband asked me, “Do we have complete tort or limited tort?”
Me: We don’t have ANY CAKE at all. I did not have time to make cake.
Husband: I was talking about the car insurance. That’s ‘tort: t-o-r-t.’
Youngest Daughter: What is tort?
Son: I know what torte is – it’s cake!
* * * * *
Then, last week:
Son: Tomorrow is Oldest Daughter’s birthday. Are we having cake?
Me: I mailed her cake to her at college.
Husband, to Son: Do you think that when it’s somebody else’s birthday, you get cake?
Son: Yeah. Why not?
Me: There are a lot of birthdays coming up. Don’t worry, you’ll get some cake. (to husband) What kind of cake does Grandma like?
YD, hinting broadly: She likes apple pie.
(It is well known that YD prefers pie for her birthday cake. I know that my mother loves both pie and cake, but I was referring to my mother-in-law, who would be visiting us on her birthday.)
Me: I was talking about your other Grandma. I think she would like that chocolate cake that I make.
Husband: Yes, I think she likes chocolate cake.
Much discussion followed about Son’s birthday/graduation party. He hadn’t been planning on having a celebration, but I guess he figured out it would be a great way to get some cake.
YD got out the Klondike bars for dessert. Husband decided to have half a Klondike bar, cutting it cross-ways.
YD: Why are you cutting it that way?
Husband: It tastes better as a triangle. It’s Hegelian.
(If you were a philosophy major in college, then you get to say your ice cream is Hegelian.)
Me, guessing about Hegel’s philosophy, which I heard of a very long time ago in relation to Marxism, which I learned about when I was a Soviet Studies major, and wondering what that has to do with triangles or ice cream: Thesis, antithesis, and, and, and….
Husband: And superego – is that the word you’re looking for?
Me: I don’t know enough about Hegel’s philosophy.
Husband: Hegel’s philosophy was all about threes. It’s heavily based on Christian theology. Schopenhauer made fun of Hegel.
Son: Does it taste even better if it is an equilateral triangle?
* * * * *
I had to look up how to spell Schopenhauer on Wikipedia, where I saw that, appropriately, his philosophy was all about continually seeking satisfaction. This weekend, the Common Household Males finally got their cake, because it was Grandma’s birthday. From each according to her birthday, to each according to his need for cake.
|Not a Platonic cake|