Friday, August 12, 2011

Dining with the Queen

Tonight at dinner I continued my hapless attempts to teach my children some table manners.  (For some previous attempts, see here and here.)


To my youngest daughter I say, “Please pass the salt.”

With her fork in her hand, she grabs the salt shaker with that same hand and passes it to me, managing to avoid stabbing me with the fork.

I channel the persona of Miss Manners and say calmly, “If you are dining with the queen and someone asks you to pass the salt, you should put down your fork before you pick up the salt.  And you should pass the salt and pepper together.”

In response, Youngest Daughter snidely remarks, “Why would anyone want to dine with the queen?”

Trying to impress my daughter with the importance of royalty, I say, “If you are invited to dine with the queen, you don’t turn down the invitation.”

Youngest Daughter:  “But I haven’t been invited to dine with the queen.”

Oldest Daughter adds helpfully, “It’s just a hypothetical situation.”

Son contributes this philosophical conundrum:  “Can you even imagine a world without hypothetical situations?”

Oldest Daughter: “Good one!”

Youngest Daughter:  “We don’t even have a queen in this country!”

I sigh.

3 comments:

Liz in Virginia said...

Oh, my dear! At long last I have found my new favorite blog -- I may pass out.

Renee said...

I like the way your son thinks :-)

I have been teaching my 10 year old daughter to use a spoon and fork to eat spaghetti, as my father taught me. There has been a little resistance . . . .

Anonymous said...

well now I know why you passed me the salt and pepper together and no fork either. We are ready for the queen or maybe even a princess Laura