The scene: breakfast in the kitchen of the Common Household, on a day not long ago...
* * * * * * *
Husband: Okay!
Today I’m attending the Anatomy and Physiology class! Do you think that the students will be able
to guess that I’m not a student?
Me (lying):
Sure. You’re not wearing a tie,
so they’ll never guess.
Husband: (with
mounting enthusiasm): What are the
eleven systems that allow the human body to work?
Me: The Parkway North, the Parkway East, the
Parkway West, the Red Belt, Orange Belt, Yellow Belt…
Husband: I bet there is one that you won’t be able to
think of!
Me (thinking of what is the most obscure one,
with the biggest medical-sounding term):
Okay, I’ve got one. The endocrine
system.
Husband (unimpressed by my ability to come up with
that three-syllable word): Yes…. And?
Me: The
ethical system?
Husband:
Me (testing my own human body to see what’s
working at the moment): Let’s see.
Breathing.
Husband: Yes, the
respiratory system.
Me (taking another spoonful of cereal): Eating.
Husband: Yes, the
digestive system.
Me (having drunk a giant mug of tea, thinking
of a system that is very important to me):
I know! The bladder!
Husband: Isn’t that
part of the digestive system? (We found out later that it isn’t. Husband is a neurobiologist, and isn’t a
post-menopausal woman, so he doesn’t think about the bladderly part of the body
very often.)
Me: Hmmm.
Ah, the nerves.
Husband: The nervous system.
Me (beginning to notice that he is turning my
perfectly acceptable words into more impressive sounding anatomical
vocabulary. Because that's the job of a professor.): The muscles? The bones?
Husband: Yes, the muscular system and the skeletal
system. That’s six.
Me: You mean there are seven more I haven’t
thought of?! (Hey, it was too early for arithmetic. Grasping at straws, I say this:) Okay, the fingernail system.
Husband: Well… That’s part of one of the systems.
Me: Hair?
No, I know, the skin!
Husband: Yes.
The skin, fingernails, and hair are all part of the integumentary
system.
Me (ignoring his use of a word I have never
heard): How about the brain? No that’s part of the neural system. I give up. I can’t think of the rest.
Husband: There’s
the cardiovascular system.
Me (looking down at my cereal with shame at not
having thought of that first): Well,
that’s important.
Husband: The
lymphatic system. (looking online) Oh, you were right. The urinary system is separate from the
digestive system. Look, here’s a diagram
of the lymphatic system!
Me (noticing an undesirable resemblance between
my bowl of cereal and the photo on the screen): Hey, I am trying to eat my breakfast here.
Husband: The last
one is the reproductive system!
Me (hoping he will not show me pictures): I’m
sorry. That system has shut down. It is no longer functioning.
I guess it’s good to have an enthusiastic professor, even if
he’s just attending class, not teaching it.
But really, during my breakfast? I thought that with no kids around, I wouldn't have to endure talking about icky topics while eating.
 |
| A likeness of the human body that has none of the 11 systems. |
5 comments:
You are such a good sport. Any husband that tries to talk to me in the early morning is a dead husband.
You are very patient. I think I might have thrown my cereal about half way through :-)
This would be dinner conversation at my house, except you are much funnier than me.
"That system has shut down. It is no longer functioning." Hahahahaha (YES)
Love his enthusiasm! I enjoy anatomy and physiology, too.
Wow. I'm so much smarter after reading this post. And That word you never heard of? Me either. Like, I never heard of 5 of the words in this post.
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