Thursday, September 3, 2015

Icebreaker Shares

This is a Public Service Announcement, to remind all of you out there who pay quarterly estimated income taxes that, in the skewed view of the government, June-Aug is the third quarter.  It’s time to pay up, Bub.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not against paying taxes.  I'm just against the screwy quarterly schedule the government has thought up.

Here is a related conversation I had yesterday at the Common Household dinner table. 

Me:  Today I bought one share of an icebreaker. 

Husband:  What?!  Why?

Me:   To protect us from the Russians.

Husband: How much did that cost?

Younger Daughter: Isn’t an icebreaker one of those silly exercises you have to do at the beginning of a meeting, to force you to get to know other people? 
(spoken like a true and proud introvert!)

Me:    This kind of icebreaker is a giant ship that can break up Arctic ice.  I heard on NPR that the Russians have forty icebreakers, but we only have two, so we need to build more icebreakers.  It’s important to keep up with Putin.

Husband:  But what do you mean, you ‘bought a share’?!

Me:  Today I paid my quarterly taxes.  An icebreaker costs 1 billion dollars, and in my view we paid enough taxes to buy a share.

Husband:  (sigh)



* * * *

The truth is that my quarterly tax payment on my part-time income is about enough to buy a share in a cup holder on that future icebreaker.  I should have framed it that way, because cup holders in vehicles are very important to the Common Household Husband.  Maybe I could get his name inscribed on the cup holder in our nation’s next icebreaker.


Dear Reader, what is your favorite icebreaker?

6 comments:

MomQueenBee said...

Oooh, great question. My favorite icebreaker(s) are the huge baskets of cascading flowers that Small Town has hanging from every lamppost during the summer, as well as the city employee whose sole job is to keep them watered and fed. I love those flowers beyond what is rational.

The Crislers said...

The flower baskets MomQueenBees mentions are perfection, so there is nothing irrational about it.

My favorite group ice breaker is any kind where the leader assigns groups. The WORST is when they say, "Find your own group and tell everyone blah blah blah." FIND MY OWN GROUP? I swear this is done by people who were never picked last for anything in their lives.

Cassi said...

I'm not sure I have a favorite of either kind of ice-breaker. I make my students do ice-breaker activities, but only in my online classes, where they get to do them asynchronously, from behind a computer screen. Since I'm an introvert, that's the only kind I'd ever feel comfortable doing.

I'd sure like to be part of your dinner conversations though --they're always very amusing!

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

I was hoping you were going to give a list of good icebreakers for people who aren't comfortable with making them up. But I do like cupholders and claim at least 2 of them in the car whenever we are traveling more than 30 minutes.
Thanks (I think?) for the reminder that I need to send out quarterly giving statements.

Gary's third pottery blog said...

Haha, icebreaker, OK, i get it---well, i would ask about their dogs or cats. If they have none, there wouldn't be much point in trying to talk to them any further, would it ;)

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Warped and wonderful conversation AGAIN at your place!
I like to ask people about their families. That's my icebreaker.