This is a Public Service Announcement, to remind all of you out there who pay quarterly estimated income taxes that, in the skewed view of the government, June-Aug is the third quarter. It’s time to pay up, Bub. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against paying taxes. I'm just against the screwy quarterly schedule the government has thought up.
Here is a related conversation I had yesterday at the Common Household dinner table.
Me: Today I bought one share of an icebreaker.
Husband: What?! Why?
Me: To protect us from the Russians.
Husband: How much did that cost?
Younger Daughter: Isn’t an icebreaker one of those silly exercises you have to do at the beginning of a meeting, to force you to get to know other people?
(spoken like a true and proud introvert!)
Me: This kind of icebreaker is a giant ship that can break up Arctic ice. I heard on NPR that the Russians have forty icebreakers, but we only have two, so we need to build more icebreakers. It’s important to keep up with Putin.
Husband: But what do you mean, you ‘bought a share’?!
Me: Today I paid my quarterly taxes. An icebreaker costs 1 billion dollars, and in my view we paid enough taxes to buy a share.
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The truth is that my quarterly tax payment on my part-time income is about enough to buy a share in a cup holder on that future icebreaker. I should have framed it that way, because cup holders in vehicles are very important to the Common Household Husband. Maybe I could get his name inscribed on the cup holder in our nation’s next icebreaker.
Dear Reader, what is your favorite icebreaker?