Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Superheroes: Best Of

For the Common Household Husband’s birthday, we all went to see Avengers: The Age of Ultron.  During this movie I learned that the reason the Avengers are all superheroes is because they can make it through a 2.25 hour movie without once needing, or even thinking about the need, to pee.

I am not a superhero.  But I am happy to recognize those who are superheroes.  Here are my awards related to this movie.

Best Accessory:  Thor.  Oh, that hammer.

Best skin care:  The Hulk.

Best Fuel Supply:  Tony Stark.

Most Well-prepared:  Hawkeye.  He never ran out of arrows.  (I didn’t even know what this character’s name was until after the movie was over.  Ditto The Black Widow.)

Best Frisbee:  Cap’n America.

Best (and only) Female Avenger:  The Black Widow.  This just bothered me.  The other Avengers had all kinds of super powers or super technology at their disposal.  What does the Black Widow have?  The ability to calm down The Hulk, and random toughness from being trained as a Slavic spy.  I’ll bet she also has my superpower, which is finding things in the refrigerator, but they didn’t mention that in the movie.

Best Imitation of Dash from The Incredibles: Fast, vaguely Slavic guy whose name I never learned.

Best Therapist:  The vaguely Slavic woman with the red eyes whose name I never learned.

Best-timed Entrance:  Samuel Jackson.  I also never learned this character’s name.

Best Named:  Ultron.  Just add “-on” or “-tron” to the end of almost any word, and you’ve got an excellent name for a futuristic character based on comic books.

Best able to differentiate between Marvel and DC Comics characters:  Youngest Daughter.

After the movie, I mentioned how indestructible Captain America’s shield is.  It’s just as good as our Corelle® dinner plates!  I asked, “What was the name of that element it was made out of?  My husband said, “Unobtainium” while my son said, “Nobreakium.”  I also have to say that if the Avengers are going to stick around, the world needs to invest more in unbreakable glass. 

What’s your superpower?


smalltownme said...

I can find things the rest of the family can't. I also know what's in the pantry.

Cassi said...

Ah, Tony Stark. There isn't anything Robert Downey Jr. does that I don't LOVE. The man is amazing.

Now Captain America, on the other hand, is the most boring man I can imagine. (I haven't seen the current movie --I'm basing this on the last one.)

I'm not sure I have a superpower, but the closest I come to it is my ability to mediate. I'm the family diplomat, and I think this is because I was (am?) the middle child.

The Crislers said...

My superpower must be the ability to change out the toilet paper rolls. Neither my husband nor any of my children appear to have this ability, despite the fact that I staged both a lecture and a lab portion so that they might learn to do so.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Really? The hammer? You slay me!
I'm a huge fan of the comic book movies, and as much as I love the Avengers, the X-Men still take the superhero cake.
Fun post!
(Also, I call my ability to see what they cannot my UTD--Uterine Tracking Device. It is the answer to MPB--Male Pattern Blindness)

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

Can procrastination be a superpower? If so, I've got that covered.

Today, my husband was the Preachertron.