Retirement Package

Due to various things lately, my husband and I are feeling our age a bit.  We are definitely the filling in the generational sandwich right now, at one moment transporting the teen to band practice (and more) and the next moment paying the bills for Grandma (and more).  It’s not a bad way for things to be at all, just busy.  And it is true that the pressure of the responsibilities weigh on a person.

The other night my husband said to me, “It sure is hard managing the old people’s needs.” 

I said, “Yeah, and they don’t even live with us.  Imagine how difficult it must be for the people who have their elderly relatives living with them.”

My husband misinterpreted what I was saying.  He thought I was suggesting that we invite them all to live here.  Oy!

Husband:  “We would never do that. Our house just isn’t set up for that.  I mean, the bathroom….”

Me:  “Oh, I’m not saying that we should have them live here.  But I wonder what the Old Folks’ Homes will be like by the time we’re ready to live in one.  Will they be like they are now?”

Husband:  “When I retire I’d like to go live at the bottom of the sea.”

This reminds me of Mafia-style retirement.

Me:  “ There’s too much pressure at the bottom of the sea.  I’d prefer the moon.  There’s no pressure on the moon.”

Husband:    “But if you’re at the bottom of the sea, you can watch the fish swimming by!  You can’t see anything from the moon.”

Me:  “You can see everything from the moon!  You can see the entire universe.”

Husband:  “But you can’t get packages delivered to the moon.”

Because what fun would retirement be if you couldn’t get packages?