(Warning: Bad ‘Poetry’ Ahead)
In mid-September, I lamented, “The time for fresh peaches is over. But I got some frozen peaches, which aren’t half bad in a bowl of cereal.”
My husband’s response: “South-going Sneetches won’t eat frozen peaches.”
On the first day of fall I had this phone text conversation with the Common Household Husband. This was not long after he had his car’s alternator replaced.
Husband: It is cold out.
Me: It is not cold here in the house. Do you like my hat?
Husband: It is cold here and there. It is cold everywhere.
Me: How’s the battery light in yr car? Does it light up like a star?
Husband: It’s dark as night. Must be all right.
(Note the high literary references to such gems as Go, Dog, Go by P.D. Eastman, and Green Eggs and Ham by Dr Seuss.)
Younger Daughter gets up faithfully at 6:00 AM every school day, and has made it to the bus on time every day but one. I am really proud of her for doing this, especially since she is not a morning person. I rarely get up in time to see her off, and although I suspect she prefers it this way, it makes me feel moderately guilty. She did indicate to me that she loves it when I leave a little note for her in the morning. Usually all I can muster is something like this:
|Welcome to Monday! |
The first day of fall! Woot!
* * * a great day to find your MATH BOOK * * *
(The math book subtext refers to the fact that she lost her math textbook during the first week of school. Also featured: my poor drawing skills.)
And here is a note I left for Younger Daughter, composed late at night while waiting for the pumpkin muffins to cool. I left it for her to find the next morning before school. You should perhaps know that when she was in utero, her siblings called her “Lump.”
|(Those pumpkin muffins have chocolate chips in them.)|
Oh, sweet little Lumpkin,
Please enjoy these pumpkin
Muffins which have beta-
Carotene far greater
Than the daily boring
Cheerios you’ve been pouring
In your bowl each morning.
With love from no other
Than your nutty mother.
She left this response, composed at around 6 AM:
In truth there is no other
With much more percent of nutter
Than my mother.
Yup, that's right.
Reader, if you found a note for you in the morning, what would you want it to say?