Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Food Likes of the Common Household Son

In celebration of my son’s 18th birthday earlier this summer, I put together this tableau detailing his culinary tastes over the years.  They can be summarized this way:  Don’t try to feed my son a vegetable. 

Here are the details.

Age 4
“I’m just a peanut butter and jelly man.”
* * * * * *
 “Mm, mm!  There’s nothing like cheese doodle inside a tortilla with peanut butter and jelly on it, rolled up like a cigar!”
* * * * * *
“I was BORN to love cheese!”

Age 6
The commutative property
Me: Son, what will you have for breakfast?
Son:  I’ll have toast with peanut butter and cream cheese.
Me:  I can’t bring myself to make peanut butter and cream cheese toast.
Son:  Okay.  How about cream cheese with peanut butter?!

Age 8
The second grade teacher asked each student to fill out a form: name, age, best friend, favorite color, hobbies, etc.  And this was one of my son’s responses:
In my spare time I like to eat dairy products.
* * * * * *
Son decided to name  “a new species:  Homo Macaroniusandcheesus.”

Age 13
Common Household Husband:  Son, how many hamburgers will you be eating?
Son:  How many hamburgers are there?

Age 14
Common Household Husband: Son, are you hungry?
Son:  A little bit.  I will be hungry at some time in the future, so I might as well eat now.

Age 15
I came in the kitchen to cook dinner, and found Son with 4 slices of bread spread out on the cutting board.  The peanut butter, jelly, and a slice of American cheese were nearby.  I said, “What are you doing?”  He said, “I’m making my lunch for tomorrow.”   I said, “Are you making a quadruple decker sandwich?!”  “No,” he said, “I’m making a double single decker.”  In other words, two sandwiches. 

Age 16
Son:  What’s for dinner?
My Husband:  Meat.
Son:  Oooh!  My favorite!
* * * * * *
One afternoon after Son got home from his horn lesson he said, “Since I have an audition later this evening, I’m going to do what Mrs. F suggested, and have a peanut butter and banana sandwich.”
* * * * * *
Son said, “My capacity for eating latkes is pretty much limitless.”

And so it has continued to this day.  To his credit, he has been known to make a salad for others, athough he won't eat it himself.  He valiantly supports the peanut butter production industry. He will eat tofu.  But not quimby. 

What was your favorite food when you were growing up?


Sarah said...

I'm new to your blog. This made me laugh. Happy Birthday to your son!

Cassi Renee said...

Happy birthday to your son!

Peanut butter and cream cheese is a new one. However, I can second the "I was BORN to eat dairy!" comment :-)

smalltownme said...

I think I ate everything. My mom wasn't a great cook, but I was adventurous when my dad took me out to eat or served me an artichoke.

My younger son only ate white food as a toddler (chicken, macaroni, etc.) but by school age he was eating everything and was even adventurous on trips (eating a frog leg in France at age 10 for example). He's 17 now.

My great-nephew has disliked fruits and vegetables all this life, but he always said he said he would eat more foods when he was 9. So now the time has come since he just had his 9th birthday!

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

Laughing so hard right now.... my son at 14 and your son at 14 are a matched set!
Since I have 4 boys, I'd have to come back at a later time/date and list them all...

The Crislers said...

Happy Birthday to your boy!

This post was hilarious- and a little scary. I don't think I want to know what your food budget looks like.

Favorite childhood foods... I don't know. My mom wasn't much of a cook, but my dad had a cooking phase. I remember his cajun potato salad and chocolate mint cream cookies very fondly. Other than that... spaghetti-o's from a can, I guess. I'm such a foodie.