Friday, January 14, 2011

Ready for Hibernation

A letter I sent to some young relatives today:

Dear Nieces,

This week we got about 8 inches of snow, which makes a total of about 1,326 inches on the ground.  It is now time to begin hibernating.

Two days ago school was closed because of the snow.  Your cousins used their time wisely, and made sugar cookies.  They made cookies in the shape of a teddy bear face, in the shape of a house, and in the shape of The Continental United States (one cookie, not 48 cookies).  Because, yes, we have a cookie cutter in that shape. 

Yesterday I made peanut butter cookies.  For some of them I pressed a chocolate kiss into the middle of the cookie after baking.  Then Your Cousin came in and took over.  She wanted to put peppermint kisses on some of the peanut butter cookies but I wouldn’t let her, because that would just be an incredibly wrong flavor combination.

All these cookies were a way of recovering from filling out the FAFSA* and the CSS-Profile** forms.  These are wicked, wicked forms.  But when you want someone to give you money, you have to be willing to grovel and fill out wicked forms, telling a complete stranger your most private business. The crowning irony was that for the CSS-profile you have to pay money to send your request begging for money to the colleges! 

So I, your meddlesome aunt, am writing to you today to ask you to be extra kind to your parents when they are filling out these forms.  Here are a few suggestions:  Bring them a cup of hot tea.  Make peanut butter and/or sugar cookies, being sure to clean up afterwards.  Do the dishes without being asked.  Offer them hand lotion (the parents, not the dishes). 

Or come up with your own ideas.  If you do, send your ideas to me, so that I can get your cousins to do them for me. 

Today I ate the Continental United States.  Because there is not much else to do when one is hibernating.  As Toad said to his friend Frog, “Wake me up at about half past May.”

            Aunt Common Household Mom

* FAFSA = Free Application for Federal Student Aid.
** CSS Profile stands for “Come on, Sucker, Spill it!” and requires you to tell a web site with hopefully decent security every little thing about you and your household. 
The neighbor girl says this is "One foot plus 5 inches of snow."  I rounded that up.

Teddy Bear face with clover eyes

Our house is a very, very fine house, with two cats in the yard. 
 On the left, note the "Duck pond with standing duck."

The Continental United States

Still Life with peanut butter cookies and cookie cutter

1 comment:

Jj said...

OMG! You are so talented! I know that song about two cats in the yard, life used to be so hard, now everything is easy 'cause of you! I love the name you gave to the CSS form; u did it without cussin'! Love ur blog!,,,,,