Trying to Understand the Modern World

Cost: about $3.50 or so

In the Common Household, we spend our days trying to understand technology, the younger generation, and life in general.

The Common Household Husband saw this headline in the newspaper, one day back in February:

Pitt to buy former Syria Mosque property from UPMC for $10 million

He said to me, “The university is buying a mosque.  Does this mean the university does not have to maintain a prayer room any more?”

I said, “That is not actually a mosque.  It’s an entertainment venue.”

That left him speechless, as he considered how a building called a mosque would be an entertainment venue.  But it was.  Because this is Pittsburgh.

Then he reading the headlines further.  There was an article about Kennywood Amusement Park.

Husband:  “There’s a new whale entrance at Kennywood.”

Me:  “That’s inexplicable.”

Husband:  “Look, if whales want to go to Kennywood, they need a way to get in.  There will be no discrimination against whales here.  Equal entry for all….. I wonder what kind of railings they are going to use.”

* * * * *

The bank decided to do away with its coin-counting machine.  This made me sad.

Me:  You know, Older Daughter and Son’s generation doesn’t even use actual money.

Husband:    That’s because they don’t have any money.

* * * * *

I texted Son, because I was trying to figure out what clothes I might get for him for his birthday.  (Never mind that he did not want clothes for his birthday. A mother wants her son to be properly dressed in the work world.)

I was left to wonder exactly what the current generation wears under their lab coats.

* * * * *

Younger Daughter took the SAT recently.  The night before, I was frantically searching to find out what time the test started.

Me:  (searching fruitlessly on the internet) “I can’t find the information that says what time the SAT starts tomorrow.”

Husband:    “Let’s try to find out this way.”  (asks Siri)  “What time does the SAT start?”

Siri:  “That’s an interesting question, Dad.”

* * * * *

Husband:    “When I was a kid an ice cream cone cost 50 cents.”

Younger Daughter: “That was back when the penny mattered.”

Husband:     “That's low.”

The fact is that 50 cents in 1970 equates to about the current price of an ice cream cone.  So we have no right to grouse.  And the ice cream is probably better now than it was then.

* * * * *

Husband:     “So Younger Daughter has no school on Columbus Day?”

Me: “I think it should be called Indigenous People's Day.”

Husband:    “How about Endogenous People's Day?”

Me:  “You mean for people who are beside themselves?”

* * * * *

I will leave you to look up the meaning of “endogenous” which does not mean “beside oneself.”  I will be beside myself for the next twenty days, at least, as I try to understand the modern world.  Right now it seems incomprehensible.