Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Just can't stop the flow of dinner conversation

My husband has the opportunity to attend scientific lectures at work.  And we have the opportunity to hear about them at the dinner table.  I must preface this account of our Actual Dinner Conversation by saying that I am not trying to make light of this condition.  In fact, it is likely to be a medical condition I experience myself sometime in the future.

Common Household Husband (eagerly):  I went to a really interesting lecture today!

Other members of the household:  Pass the food, please.

Common Household Husband (even more eagerly):  Does anyone want to talk about incontinence tonight?!

Oldest Daughter:  What’s that?

Youngest Daughter:  Incompetence?

Husband:  Incontinence.

Me, trying to head him off at the pass:  No, we do NOT want to talk about that.

Oldest Daughter:  What is it?

Husband:  It’s the loss of bladder control.

Oldest Daughter:  No, we DON’T want to talk about that.

Husband:  But I went to a really interesting talk today about incontinence.

We managed to steer the conversation to a different topic for a while.  But once Oldest Daughter had asked her usual, “Can I be excused to take my shower?” and left the table, my dear husband launched into the topic of incontinence.  He was pretty excited about what the speaker had to say.  To whit:

It used to be assumed that incontinence was a normal part of aging, and that nothing could be done about it.  More recent research shows that isn’t true. 

There are many different conditions associated with incontinence, and a lot of them have nothing to do with the bladder itself.

It’s hard to get people to tell their doctor about incontinence, because it’s embarrassing, and people assume that nothing can be done about it.  But if people would only tell the doctor, then something could be done about it.*

He went on and on, until Youngest Daughter said, “Daddy, I think you should stop talking and go play the Wii.”

He said, “Go take a wee?”

*See your doctor.  She might recommend Kegel exercises, while sitting in the car waiting to pick up teenagers.


Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

So it's a problem that gets worse as you ignore it? Makes sense. And gives me hope for my "golden years." Hahaha

RE: Merit Badges: I'm doing Tracking and Communication. My kid just finished Personal Management last week with another counselor--that was a DOOZY--that chore chart alone was horrific! Email me if you want to chat about logistics ever.

David N. said...

This makes me think of Catherine O'hara's husband in A Mighty Wind. Classic.

Jess said...

I'm not sure if I was supposed to laugh but I did. :) Reminds me of some of the dinner conversations when I was growing up. My mother was a nurse--we heard EVERYTHING in great detail. No wonder I have a weak stomach today. I can barf at the drop of a hat. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm glad we're not the only family that has issues with dinner conversation topics. What is it with men and boys anyway? Didn't they get the memo?