The goyim are not fond of gefilte fish. Speaking for the goyim, I can say that gefilte fish is okay if you have it with some horseradish sauce, but otherwise it’s like eating salty gelatinous paste with a fishy smell. If the Israelites leaving Egypt ate this stuff, then I’ll eat my hat.
The Children of Israel love gefilte fish. I will never understand why. Maybe it’s biblical to love the unworthy. I mean, look at it. Is it lovable? No.
But consuming gefilte fish is now good for the environment. I am not making this up. It has to be true ‘cuz I heard it on NPR.
Surprise #1: Israel currently has a shortage of gefilte fish. This is not good, what with Passover starting in 21 days. It just wouldn’t be Passover without gefilte fish.
Surprise #2: Israeli gefilte fish producers get most of their fish from Illinois. Illinois?
Surprise #3: The kind of fish they get from Illinois is Asian carp. Talk about yer globalization.
Israel put a hefty tariff on imports of Asian carp, so gefilte fish producers stopped importing the fish from Illinois. And here’s the environment part. The Asian carp are pests, getting huge and eating up normal fauna as they swim up the Mississippi River. The waterways of Michigan need our help, folks. With the Israeli fish factories not buying Asian carp, they are going to overrun the rivers and lakes (the carp, not the Israelis). So this year, we all need to eat twice as much gefilte fish, so we can reduce the Asian carp population.
This is serious. Secretary of State Clinton is using diplomacy at the highest levels to solve the problem. Let’s do our part. Don’t forget the horseradish sauce.