Friday, December 30, 2016

Drugs are nice

Astute reader Kristy asked if I jot down the family’s conversations on little pieces of paper located all over the house.  How did you know?! 

My memory is shot, which is great because it means that I can reread a book and still be surprised at the ending.  But it also means that five minutes after a conversation I can’t remember a word.

On a Tuesday morning in late November, this happened.

I was already awake. Husband was still sleeping. Then his clock radio alarm plays gentle classical music.  The lights are still off.

Husband (not quite awake): How come fdmsfp bsmlafp FIVE fdusmfpd wlxpd kplds SIX dwepwl zmxkskd qplpz FIVE, dpswldlf pfslsds FIVE.

Me (fully awake):  Other than the word FIVE, I did not understand what you said.

Husband (a little more awake):  If only we could manipulate time.  Then we could go to sleep and wake up only after we are fully rested.

Me: But you would have to manipulate time while sleeping.

Husband:  Couldn’t I do it after I wake up?  I don’t want to work while I’m sleeping. …  Did Younger Daughter get up?
(This is when I reach for a scrap of paper and a pen, to write down the conversation.  In the dark.) 
Me:    Yes, she did.  I woke briefly when she left the house at 6:30.  Thank God I was able to sleep last night.  With the help of drugs.
(Benadryl is my sleep aid, people.  Nothing stronger.)

Husband: Drugs are nice. What the world needs is more drugs.

                                                                                    * * * * * *

And that’s the thought that I want this blog to enter the new year with.  Some of us may need more drugs in order to make it through 2017.  And hopefully we’ll have a pen that works.  Because we are going to need to pay attention and take notes.  And drugs.

Non-working pen + dark room =
senseless chicken scratch.
Appropriately, this paper is
the back of a prescription receipt.


Cassi said...

I had to read this one out loud to the family. Love it, and I need more drugs!

smalltownme said...

Generic diphenhydramine is my friend.

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

My motto, oft spoken, is better living through chemicals. There are some that make it possible for me to wake up properly (caffeine) and some that make it possible for everyone -- myself included -- to withstand living in my presence (Effexor XR). And as I write this, I'm about to go take some Tylenol for the headache that will not go away. "Drugs are nice" indeed!
Prescription or otherwise, many things will be required to get us through some of the coming year.

jj said...

I have often said that society's ills would be drastically reduced if only prozac were added to the drinking water.

The Crislers said...

HA! That was a laughing HA, not a victorious HA. I scribble all kinds of things throughout the house- often pieces of hopeful blog posts that somehow never come to fruition, either from lack of time or because I find them later and say, "What was I thinking? This is dull and makes no sense." It makes me feel better that there are others who can remember nothing. What would I do without my pens and scraps of paper?

I only made it through the month of December via a cocktail of (mostly OTC) drugs. Plus I'm gearing up to actually call my dentist again to make another appointment, so more drugs are definitely in my future, these ones ABSOLUTELY prescription-strength.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

That is a funny conversation. Sometimes my notes don't make sense, but what's worse is when I write things on the calendar and have NO IDEA what I meant. Like "3:00 doctor." Which kid? Which doctor? What the heck? Or sometimes I even just write down a TIME. I can be an idiot.