Thursday, March 3, 2016

Food and Calendar Conversations

Recent Common Household commentary about food, including food as it relates to holidays both secular and religious. 

Me:  “There is banana bread here.”
Son:  “I don’t think I’ve ever had banana bread.  Is it like monkey bread?”
Me:    “No.”
Son:  “Or is it just bread for monkeys?”

* * * * *

Common Household Husband:  “To me, pie is just something you eat when you have no cake.”

* * * * *

The Common Household Son was complaining that there were no more frozen waffles, which is what he usually eats for breakfast.  I said, “Can’t you eat cereal?  Every red-blooded American eats cereal for breakfast.”   Younger Daughter shouted from the other room, “Who says our blood is red?!”

* * * * *

Me:  “What kind of cheese do you want for your sandwich?”
Husband:  “There’s some low salt, low fat, low self-esteem cheese in the fridge.”

* * * * *

Me:    “On Tuesday we are going to the Pancake Dinner at church.”
Husband:   “Why are they serving pancakes?”
Younger Daughter:  “On Tuesday it is the tradition to use up all the fat.  Before Lint.”
Husband (thinking of pre-Passover traditions):  “You mean, you go through the cupboards with a feather and brush away all the fat?”
Me:   (speechless)
YD:  “What?!  There’s no feather involved in Lint.”
Husband (rhapsodic about Passover):  “As a people, we have gone through the cupboards with a feather. … How long is Lent?  Is it a 30-day countdown?”
Me:  “Lent is 40 days, not including Sundays.”
Husband (explaining the Jewish calendar):  “You know there are two months of Adar this year.  How does that affect Lent?  Maybe Lent is 80 days this year instead of 40 days?”

* * * * *

Me: (reading the newspaper about an event for Presidents’ Day):  “Oooh!  A Cherry Pie hike!  What a great title for a hike.”
Husband:  “Is there a chocolate cake hike?”
Me:    “No.  George Washington was not famous for chocolate cake.”
Husband:  “I have no use for it if it doesn’t involve chocolate cake.”


Angie said...

Great, now I'm hungry!

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

Your family cracks me up!

According to my husband, cake takes a distant second to pie. It's all about the celebration pies around here.

The Crislers said...

Low self-esteem cheese! That is perfect. I love your family conversations. Please don't ever stop transcribing them.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I'm glad to say we have only healthy self-esteem cheese at our house. Your family is such a hoot.