Friday, April 10, 2015

Bring Forth Seeds

Thus says the Lord: Lo, it is finally spring.  You shall stop saying to me already, “How long, O Lord, will winter last?” because you know that to every thing there is a season. Turn, Turn, Turn.

Let the earth put forth vegetation, and let the seed catalogues issue optimistic photos of their botanical wares to show what would grow under care of a more worthy gardener.  Be wary lest you fall into temptation and order too many seed packets for the land the Lord your God has given you to garden.

And when you open the seed packet, you shall use wisdom and discernment.  For My sake, do not rip the packet open; go get the scissors.  Refrain your nose from sneezing, so that you shall not drop the seeds, causing a large clump of forget-me-nots to grow all in one spot.

You shall not squander the seeds of the days of old.   If, whilst you are seeking your gardening implements in the great darkness that is the basement, you happen upon a packet of seeds from the days of your youth, do not spill them wantonly on the ground, without a purpose.  This is an abomination to me.  You shall search on the Webs Of Inter to find holy ordinances for bringing the seed back to life.  For behold, I will do a new thing and it shall spring forth; resurrection of seeds and other creatures is my specialty.

Here are the laws and ordinances for dealing with the wild beasts of the field: you shall gird your loins and get thee to K-mart and purchase a vessel full of Liquid Fence Deer and Rabbit Repellent. 

Then you shall put off thy shoes from off thy feet, and shall don the old shoes of gardening.  Also shall you don the gloves of gardening.  Only then shall you open the vessel of Liquid Fence, for the odor is displeasing; it stinketh to high heaven, and only the fool gets it on her regular shoes.   You shall spray every plant freely and wholeheartedly;  yea, you shall odorify the whole yard, even unto the edges of your property.  Thus shall you prevail over the beasts of the field.

And when this work is done, then you shall rejoice and be glad; your lips shall sing with joy.

                                                                                    - The Book of Jubilations 26:1-36

A Psalm for Springtime in Western PA

I will praise you, O Holy One, for Your creation. 

I rejoice in the crocus and the daffodil;
            I take delight in the hyacinth that You yourself have made.
I celebrate the Easter lily that the neighbors gave us;
Together we shall exult to look at the green, green grass.
Even the moles living in the east side of the yard will leap with joy.

The tulips shall bow their heads to You, O God, mother of all that is;
            The trees of the field shall clap their hands.
The mountains shall skip like rams
(but not so vigorously as to make the Boulevard of the Allies
 fall into the river);
the hills like young sheep.
The Three Rivers will sing together with joy;
            The streams shall overflow their banks with gladness.

You have turned my winter moping into dancing:
you have put off my winter coat, and clothed me with a t-shirt,
That my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
            O my God, I will praise you forever.

                                                           The Book of Jubilations 27:1-9

Behold: the Easter lily the neighbors gave us.


The Crislers said...

YESSSSS. I've been waiting for this, and it was worth it. The Webs of Inter. It stinketh to high heaven. Make no mistake; I'll be back to read this again a number of times.

smalltownme said...

Amen, sister.

JJ said...

You are brilliant!

Cassi said...


I have to admit, though, that the Webs of Inter have failed me in the past, and in clearing out a shelf in the mudroom I threw out at least 10 packets of ~8 year old, half-used, seed packets. And I have, beautifully arrayed on the kitchen counter, the new seed packets for this year. I'm sure the plants won't look much like the beautiful drawings :-)

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I really enjoyed your psalm. It made me feel hopeful and joyful.
And your variegated flowers are a perfect accompaniment so your writing. Wondrous stuff.

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

Absolutely fabulous! I spent the day putting together a bulletin (among other things) and this was a balm to my weary soul.
I miss having crocus and daffodils.