Lost in the Supermarket

Once again, our local grocery store is moving things around inside the store.  Half the floor is ripped up, and today the dairy case was completely discombobulated.  Since I spend 62.4% of my time at the grocery store, this is very disconcerting to me.  Usually our grocery store does incomprehensible stuff anyway, like put the gluten-free cake mix next to the broccoli.  (When my friends who eat gluten-free food were coming over, I could not find that cake mix anywhere that made sense to me.)  But I guess The Store Managers do secret capitalist marketing experiments on us which lead them to need to stir things around.

So the Common Household got together and decided how the store should be reorganized.  Here are our suggestions:

     Put the milk next to the cookies.

     Put the peanut butter next to the matzo.

     All the desserts need to be located at the front of the store.

     All the ingredients for tuna noodle casserole would be next to each other on the shelf.

     The cheez curls, of course, should go next to the Red Box movie rental machine.

And just get rid of all the self-checkout lanes.  Last week I lost my temper in public because of those infuriating machines.  I want a real live person ringing up my groceries, please.

Well, this same grocery store did give me free antibiotics today.  I wonder what’s actually in the pills.  Because you get what you pay for, ya know?