The meaning of words

During dinner last night, we somehow got onto the subject of people who cheat and steal.  The conversation continued as I served dessert, which was pumpkin custard.

Youngest Daughter, who seems to be inheriting her father’s sharp cynicism, exclaimed, “There’s always somebody belching off the system!”

Me:  Belching?  I don’t think that’s the right word.

Son:  I do not think that word means what you think it means.

Husband:  Inconceivable!

Son:  Oh, yeah… when is Uncle J going to return our copy of The Princess Bride?

YD:  I said BILCHING!  That’s the word Daddy used!

Husband:  I said bilking.   Bilking the system.  By the way, what does ‘perfunctory’ mean?

Me:  It means doing something in a rote way, like you don’t really care if you’re doing a good job.

Husband:  (looks at me doubtfully)

Me:  Would you like me to get the dictionary?

Husband:  Yes.

Me:  (with a certain degree of outrage) Dad doesn’t believe my definition.  I don’t believe Dad when he tells me that Senator Ted Kennedy wanted to ban bathtubs, but Dad doesn’t believe me when I define a word properly! 

(My tone of voice adequately conveys the ridiculousness of my husband’s assertions, and the rightness of mine. I guess I should let my outrage at the assertion about bathtubs and Sen. Kennedy fade, since he is dead, but I just can’t let it go. I’ve been watching Season 2 of Downton Abbey, which makes me feel unduly righteous, for some reason. I fetch the dictionary.)

YD: Every day somebody dies in a bathtub.

Husband:  SEE?!

(I bring the dictionary to the kitchen table. I ask myself how my sheltered child would know a statistic like that.)

Me: “Perfunctory: 1a.  Done merely for the sake of getting through a duty. 1b. done in a cursory or careless manner.  2. Superficial; mechanical.”

(I look in triumph at my husband.)  SEE?

YD (looking at a picture on the opposite page):  What’s that?

Maybe this would look better on Colin Firth?

Me:  That is a two-horned periwig!  Son, get a load of this hairstyle for men!

Son: (looks and chokes)

(YD’s obsession with all things biological allows her to spot another picture on the dictionary page, this time of something that is clearly anatomical.)

YD:  But what is that?

Me:  We are NOT going to look at that while we are eating.

YD:  Why not?  What is it?

(As I snap the dictionary shut, I catch a glimpse of the word ‘peristalsis’ above the illustration.)

Me:  We are definitely not talking about that right now.

Husband:  Why not?  We’re finished eating our cumpkin pustard!

At the mention of pus, our meal is definitely ended.

Just for the record, the scientists in the family (that is, everybody but me) think that peristalsis is a perfect topic for the dinner table.  You could do a live demonstration!  At least the dictionary did not have an illustration of the word ‘peritonitis.’

Happy eating, everyone!

Baked Pumpkin Custard

Weight Watchers Community Posted Recipe

Posted on 1/16/2013 by LEAFMONSTER

This is basically pumpkin pie without the crust.

4 Weight Watchers PointsPlus Value

Prep time: 15 min

Cook time: 75 min

Serves: 8

Ingredients

3/4 cups sugar  

1/2 tsp table salt  

1 tsp ground cinnamon  

1/2 tsp ground ginger  

1/4 tsp ground cloves  

2 eggs  

15 oz canned pumpkin  

1 1/4 cup(s) fat-free evaporated milk (= 12 fluid ounces = 1 can)  

Instructions

Mix together sugar, salt, cinnamon, ginger, and cloves in a small bowl.

Beat eggs in a large bowl. Stir in pumpkin and sugar-spice mixture. Gradually stir in evap. milk.

Pour into custard dish or empty pie dish. Bake in preheated 425 F oven for 15 minutes. Then reduce temp to 350 F and bake for 30 to 50 minutes longer or until knife inserted near center comes out clean.

Cool on wire rack for 2 hours. 

Mon petit chou

The French have a different word for everything, except when it comes to the cabbage family.  For that, everything is “chou” which is pronounced “shoe” and might be your description of the texture of cabbage-related vegetables.

English______                        French_______         

cabbage                                    chou

Brussels sprouts                        choux de Bruxelles

cauliflower                               chou-fleur

collard greens                           feuilles de chou-vert

kohlrabi                                    chou-rave

sauerkraut                                 choucroute

kale                                          chou vert frisé

and, inexplicably,

my darling                                mon petit chou

The French for kale literally means “green curly cabbage.”  Kale is also known as “the disgusting boiled vegetable served in the elementary school cafeteria when I was a kid.”  Back then, Mrs. Hurstein the Cafeteria Aide ruled over her fiefdom as a benevolent dictator.  She required us to (gasp) eat our vegetables before we could get in the dessert line.  I drew the line at eating kale.  Blech.  Dessert was not worth that price.

Lately, though, I have heard people raving about kale chips.  I was dubious that these would actually taste good, but finally decided to give it a try.  I mean, kale is so darn good for you.  It’s chock full of vitamins A, C, and K, and half a chock full of a bunch of other vitamins.  It’s an antioxidant party! There are nutritional drawbacks, though. Kale conflicts with blood-thinner drugs, and it prevents the absorption of calcium.  So if you are trying to boost your calcium, just don’t dip your kale chips in your milk.

My first attempt at kale chips was successful.  They were crispy, crunchy and flavorful.   I really liked them, my husband gave his approval, and Oldest Daughter finished off the batch.  The two younger members of the household ate one ‘chip’ when forced, but no more.  I guess I am not enough like Mrs. Hurstein.

Now that you have thought about kale, I suggest you think about cookies.  You have earned it, Dear Reader.  You could head over to Andrea’s blog Raising Peanut, look at her cookies (here for Elephant Cookies and here - scroll toward the end for a lovely story of what she did with her Christmas cookies), and give her some comment love.  

(Recipe for kale chips is below the photos.)

Take one bunch of kale.

Wash it. Ain't it pretty?

Tear the leaves off of the ribs.  The ribs are the part
 pictured here.  Discard them.

If you are taking photos for your blog, clean out the sink
before putting the kale leaves in the salad spinner.
Spin.

This is about half of the bunch of kale, spun dry.

Put the leaves on a baking sheet.  Spray with cooking oil.
Sprinkle with salt and garlic powder.  If you like spiciness,
sprinkle with cayenne pepper.  Or any other spice you like.

Cook at 350 F for 10 to 12 minutes.  Remove from baking
sheet to paper towel to cool.  Repeat with the rest of
the kale leaves. 

 Still life of kale with oatmeal cookies.

This recipe only takes about 5 minutes to prepare,
if you are not cleaning out your sink to take photos.

Kale Chips

Ingredients

uncooked kale, 1 large bunch

cooking oil spray

salt

garlic powder

cayenne pepper (optional)

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 F. Tear kale into bite sized pieces, removing the large rib. Wash and dry thoroughly. Lay kale on a baking sheet in a single layer (do not crowd). Spray oil lightly over kale.  Sprinkle salt, garlic powder (and cayenne pepper if desired) over kale.  Bake for 10-12 minutes. Remove from baking sheet onto paper towel to cool.  Repeat with the rest of the kale.

One recipe I found said this:

Let sit out to cool and store in ziploc bag. Note: make sure that you get rid of any uncrispy pieces before closing the bag or it will make all of the kale very chewy.

but I don’t know if it’s true that it will get chewy.  Ours was gone before bedtime.

A New Year's Demand

Thus says the Lord of the Manor, the Common Household Husband:  Once a year, yea, even at the turn of the year, you shall make atonement for the mess you have kept all year on your desk.

My desk and environs in June 2012.  Just awful.

You shall not use as an excuse that you are managing your aunt’s finances; neither shall you say that you must do paid work.  For lo these four weeks, your company has not sent your paycheck, and so you shall cease working until the season of the arrival of the money has arrived.  My lips are full of wrath at this; assuage my wrath by cleaning off your desk. 

On the last day of the year, from the sunrise to the setting of the sun, you shall go through all the papers.  You shall move them from your desk to the recycle bin – you shall show no mercy to these papers, for they are an abomination to me.

The recycle bin, half-way through my New Year's Eve task.

And on the first day of the first month we shall rejoice and be glad as we take our recycle bin to the Abitibi paper bin at the elementary school.

Thus says the Common Household Mom:  Truly, after cleaning off my desk, I shall eat with gladness, drink with joy, and find satisfaction in the toilsome labor on this day.  For the cleanliness of the desk will not last long, so I had better celebrate now.

Not perfect, but it's the best it's going to get.

Ingredients for an awesome end to the year

One awesome way to end out the year:  Night Sledding!

Ingredients and tools needed:
Start with one hill and some snow.  Add:

One Boy Scout.
One deck.

Heavy-duty outdoor extension cords.
Optional: snow shovel for shoveling path on deck.
If you prefer, you can wade through the 7 inches of snow.

Strings of Christmas lights.
Tree.
Daylight.

It is best to set up before it gets dark.

Turn on all available outside lights.

Ready to open the slopes.

It is crucial to have several teenagers with perseverance
 to pack down the snow.

Teenagers can do stunts that the Common Household Mom
 can't do, like sled standing up.

Now it's ready for the younger teenagers.

Guess who has the most fun of all night sledding?  Me!